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Band 7

The graph below shows the number of visitors to three museums (the British Museum, the Natural History Museum, and the Science Museum) in London from 2000 to 2015.

The graph below shows the number of visitors to three museums (the British Museum, the Natural History Museum, and the Science Museum) in London from 2000 to 2015.
#visitors #three #museums #british #museum #history #science #london
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The given line chart compares the total of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to three museums namely, the British
Museum
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, the
Science
Use synonyms
Museum
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, and the History
Museum
Use synonyms
, from June to September 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, the British
Museum
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 experienced fluctuating growth throughout the years,
whereas
Linking Words
, the
Science
Use synonyms
Museum
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 and Natural History
Museum
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 substantially declined from the beginning of the period to the third month.
Then
Linking Words
, both of the exhibitions are recovered
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the British
Museum
Use synonyms
 was the most
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
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 destination among
visitors
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 in June accounting for 600,000 population,
then
Linking Words
, reaching the peak of growth at 730 thousand people.
However
Linking Words
, the number of tourists who visited
this
Linking Words
museum
Use synonyms
 declined significantly to 500,000 travellers,
although
Linking Words
 they increased trend in September, resulting in 600,000
visitors
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
Science
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
 destination has a downward trend from June to July.
This
Linking Words
 was followed by, a slight rise to under 400,000 tourists, yet the
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
 who came to the
Science
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Museum
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 increased, totalling 490
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the Natural History
Museum
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 has a significant drop from 400K
visitors
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 to 300K
visitors
Use synonyms
 but the destinations became popular
at the end
Linking Words
 of year, reaching approximately 420,000 people.
Submitted by firly on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, museum, science with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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