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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the percentage of the Australian workforce in five industries between 1962 and 2012.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the percentage of the Australian workforce in five industries between 1962 and 2012.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line chart provides key information about the five industries
at
Change preposition
in
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Correct article usage
the australian
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australian
Change the capitalization
Australian
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 workforce between 1962 and 2012. The units are measured in the percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that the peak percentage of
Add an article
the
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Australian workforce in five industries is service and it has remained stable
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at
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nearly 80 per cent in 2010.
whereas
Linking Words
, mining was the minimal amount of the 5 productions remained at 1% but it was 0% first .
According to
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 what is shown, manufacturing was constant at 25% but it has fluctuated and plunged to 10%.
In
Linking Words
addition
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addition,
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 services
was
Change the verb form
were
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 52 percent in the beginning but it has soared from 52% to almost 80%. In terms the agriculture and construction they were equivalent in 1970 with a number of 10% until 1980 they were almost the same but, agriculture
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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declined to 5 per cent in 1990
as well as
Linking Words
 it
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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dropped
into
Change preposition
to
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 1 percent by 2010 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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construction was constant at 10% until 2010 .

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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