The plans below show the ground floor of a library in 2001 and how it was redeveloped in 2009.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The plan
provieds
Correct your spelling
provides
key information about
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
library
Change noun form
library's
show examples
ground floor and how it was redeveloped from 2001 to 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the map that fiction was replaced by tables in the back of the library and beside the fiction there
ware
Correct your spelling
were
show examples
history and self-help but new
shelfs
Correct your spelling
shelves
shelf
were constructed like law, economics,
kitchen
Correct word choice
and kitchen
show examples
. But for Self-help, fiction and history
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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still
remaind
Correct your spelling
remained
remains
remain
from the old library on the lift side of the walls.
According to
Linking Words
what is shown, when we look at the entrance which is in the front we can see that the librarian's desk was still the same in
thoes
Correct your spelling
those
two years.
While
Linking Words
they had built computers on the front right side in 2009. And for the other tables in 2001 and 2009 they just changed
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
shap
Correct your spelling
shape
. In terms of
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
side of the walls
Add a comma
,
show examples
they
turnd
Correct your spelling
turned
the newspaper&
peniodicals
Correct your spelling
periodicals
periodical
into films &
dvds
Correct your spelling
DVDs
.
Submitted by daliahmohsn9 on

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task achievement
Your essay describes the redevelopment of the library well, but it could be improved by adding more specific details for clearer comparisons between 2001 and 2009.
coherence cohesion
Try to organize your paragraphs in a more logical way to enhance the flow of the essay. Using paragraphs for different sections of the library or different years would help.
introduction conclusion present
Ensure to include an introduction that sets the stage for the description and a conclusion that summarizes the changes.
task achievement
You have identified some key changes from 2001 to 2009, such as the addition of tables and new shelves, which shows a good understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The essay attempts to describe changes in an organized way, mentioning specific sections like the entrance and librarian's desk.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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