Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?
In the 21st century,
kids
spend their own Use synonyms
time
with many tools whether it is beneficial for them or not. There is a common belief that Use synonyms
children
's free Use synonyms
time
should be spent on Use synonyms
activities
which Use synonyms
offers
Change the verb form
offer
kids
to serious Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
instead
of that it would be a waste of Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
to
a child's development. Change preposition
for
This
essay will outline the disagreeing view with several relevant facts and reasons.
Linking Words
To begin
with, Linking Words
children
can learn by entertaining and socializing to gain knowledge in their lives. As their not adult yet and open-minded to everything it is Use synonyms
convenience
to experience through creativity Replace the word
convenient
while
academic pressure plays Linking Words
significant
role Add an article
a significant
to distract
their well-being. Change preposition
in distracting
Moreover
, it is an opportunity to find their talents and their own Linking Words
self seeking
by trying new Add a hyphen
self-seeking
activities
. Use synonyms
This
is why almost every school schedule their hours by creating Linking Words
a
free Correct article usage
apply
time
and Use synonyms
putting
exercises for Verb problem
doing
Use synonyms
children
benefit.
Change noun form
children's
Secondly
, Linking Words
also
cognitive skills will enhance their abilities in their free Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
exception
Replace the word
except
of
Change preposition
for
education
.When Use synonyms
kids
deal with new findings their thinking and physical skills might be improved Use synonyms
due to
trying to understand how it works. To illustrate, authorities have compared two Linking Words
children
who were chalk and cheese in terms of sporting events first boy was trained every weekend and socialized through sports , Use synonyms
on the contrary
, Linking Words
latter
boy was Correct article usage
the latter
introvert
and Replace the word
introverted
being
lacked Unnecessary verb
apply
from
amusement events Change preposition
apply
has less
Verb problem
apply
better
compared to his peers in his social life Change the word
good
while
the other boy was Linking Words
full
filled with both Change the adjective
fully
education
and social conduction. The results show thatUse synonyms
,
leisure Remove the comma
apply
activities
mustn't only provide strict lessons but Use synonyms
also
have covered with other things Linking Words
besides
, knowing that it isn't a waste.
In conclusion, there is no doubt that Linking Words
education
is the most significant priority and can't be violated for all, Use synonyms
however
, free Linking Words
time
is Use synonyms
also
a need Linking Words
besides
Linking Words
from
all pressures in academic life and a way for novelties. Given as a recommendation, Change preposition
apply
kids
should balance both for the highest exploit.Use synonyms
Submitted by zeynepsuakinal on
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task response
Address minor grammatical errors and ensure sentence structures are precise to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between ideas in each paragraph to create smoother transitions.
task response
Provide more specific examples and evidence to back up the main points presented for a stronger argument.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively introduces the topic and presents a clear stance, providing a good overview for the reader.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion summarizes the essay points well and offers a recommendation, indicating a thoughtful approach.
relevant specific examples
The essay includes relevant examples, especially with the sports analogy, demonstrating an ability to relate ideas to real-world situations.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example