IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The graph showes the production level of the main kinds of fuel in the UK between 1981-2000.

#showes #production #level #kinds #fuel #uk
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The given graph illustrates how the amounts of produced fuels were changing in the UK during the
period
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 1981-2000. The information is given in
energy
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units
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, petroleum and natural gas were increasing in
production
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,
while
Linking Words
 the amount of coal fuels produced in the UK was decreasing within the whole
period
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. It is
obviously
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obvious
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 that petroleum
production
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 was rapidly rising from 1981 to 1983.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 increase, there was a plateau with 140
energy
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units
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 until
the
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apply
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1987.
Then
Linking Words
 the
production
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 of petroleum decreased to 100
points
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 in 1990 and increased to 140
points
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 by
the
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apply
show examples
2000. It can be clearly seen that in 1981-1990 the amount of natural gas produced
was fluctuating
Wrong verb form
fluctuated
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 from 39
energy
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units
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 to approximately 41
energy
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units
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.
Then
Linking Words
 a sharp increase was recorded. In 2000 the
production
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 of natural gas made up 100
points
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. Contrastingly,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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coal
production
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was falling
Wrong verb form
fell
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 during the given
period
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. By
the
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apply
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1984 it made up less than 40
points
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. After
it
Correct pronoun usage
that
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, there was a
slightly
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slight
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 rise in 1986 and a plateau
in
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at
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 the point of 60
energy
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units
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 for the next 5 years. It can be observed a downward trend for the rest
period
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, in 2000 it reached about 30
points
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.
Submitted by swetlana4597 on

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task achievement
To further improve your task response, ensure that all relevant trends and comparisons among the different types of fuel are fully described. Consider elaborating a bit more on the significance of these trends.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving your logical structure by ensuring all data points and trends are introduced, supported, and concluded logically. This can be achieved by providing clearer topic sentences and summarizing important points within each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetitions and try using varied vocabulary and sentence structures to keep the essay engaging and clear.
task achievement
The essay successfully captures the general trends of fuel production in the UK, covering the most important changes over time.
task achievement
The use of specific data points enhances the explanation and adds credibility to your observations.
coherence cohesion
The essay generally follows a clear structure with an introduction and an overview of the trends, followed by detailed paragraphs for each type of fuel.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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