Animals are in danger of extinctions. Some people say we should protect only those animals, which are useful to humans. Do you agree or disagree?

#animals #danger #extinctions #people #humans

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Animals

Use synonyms

are at risk of disappearing forever. Protecting only those

which

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

are resourceful to

humans

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said

Change preposition

apply

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some people in my opinion

Unnecessary verb

apply

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seems a little unreasonable. The ones' belief that protecting

animals

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Linking Words

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is useful to

humans

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have their own stands.

First,

Linking Words

limited resources should

direct

Wrong verb form

be directed

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towards

animals

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that offer tangible

benefits

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humans

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, pollinators like bees are critical for food production,

while

Linking Words

domesticated

animals

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provide

cloths

Correct your spelling

clothes

show examples

, food, and

labor

Change the spelling

labour

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. Other than that,

limitation

Correct article usage

the limitation

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of financial and human resources for conservation efforts

due to

Linking Words

budget constraints

underline

Correct subject-verb agreement

underlines

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the concern to protect only certain

animals

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For example

Linking Words

, preserving livestock of endangered fish

benefits

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industries

such

Linking Words

as agriculture and fishing which

vital

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are vital

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for global economics.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is reasonable to focus on

animals

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that

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benefits

Change the verb form

benefit

show examples

humans

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Nevertheless

Linking Words

, all

animals

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deserve protection. Focusing solely on

animals

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deemed useful to

humans

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overlook

Correct subject-verb agreement

overlooks

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the interconnectedness of ecosystems.

For instance

Linking Words

, predators like wolves control prey

popullations

Correct your spelling

populations

population

This

Linking Words

directly maintains the ecological balance.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there is a potential

Change preposition

for

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unforeseen

benefits

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that

not

Add a missing verb

have not

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yet

discovered

Add a missing verb

been discovered

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by scientists.

For example

Linking Words

compound

Fix the agreement mistake

compounds

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derived from certain

species

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have led to medical

breakthrough

Fix the agreement mistake

breakthroughs

show examples

. Protecting diverse

species

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ensures that these potential resources are not lost.

Thus

Linking Words

, protecting

animals

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without direct human

benefits

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also

Linking Words

can serve their purposes. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

prioritising useful

animals

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seem

Correct subject-verb agreement

seems

show examples

practical, it risks neglecting the broader ecological balance and the intrinsic value of all

species

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. A comprehension conservation strategy of both useful and non-useful

species

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is crucial to sustaining life on Earth in the long term.

Submitted by aunibasyeerah on Thu Jan 09 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

clarity

Improve the clarity of your argumentation. Some sentences need rephrasing for clarity and conciseness.

grammar

Ensure correct subject-verb agreement and verb forms to enhance grammatical accuracy.

depth

Expand the discussion on the ecological impact of losing non-beneficial animals to enhance relevance and depth.

balanced argument

You've clearly taken a balanced approach to the task, weighing both sides of the argument effectively.

logical structure

There is a logically structured argument in your essay with a clear introduction and conclusion.

relevant examples

Examples such as the role of bees in pollination and wolves in maintaining ecological balance are relevant and well-chosen.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Animals are in danger of extinctions. Some people say we should protect only those animals, which are useful to humans. Do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Childhood obesity is a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of this, and how can the problem be managed?

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists and not local people. Why is this the case? What can be done to attract local people?

Employees sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. Do you agree oe disagree?