IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

"The role of Technology in shaping human relationships? "

#role #technology #relationships
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In our modern society technologies has changed the pace and shape of most people's relationships completely in a different way than it was in past. In the past people used to walk with a circle of friends, talk with each other during the day visit relatives spend their leisure time together. Enjoy nature and explore the place they live. They were with their families the whole day they had breakfast lunch and dinner with other members of their family not alone as we do nowadays. By the 21st
of
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century, human
relationships
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relationship
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 forms started to move partly on social media. In our modern era, most of the population rarely spend their free time together they almost never visit relatives and spend daily quarter of their day on social media apps uploading their photos to several kinds of platforms and liking other photos of different people. They are addicted to being in relationships online and living physically alone. To
overall
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. Our ancestors lived in the real world without any kind of illusion
such
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 as social media or other technological inventions which changed our lives and made them more virtual than real.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Task Response
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
While the essay has an introduction and conclusion, ensure they are fully developed and explicitly summarize your key arguments.
Language Use
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar for better clarity. Although minor inaccuracies are okay, aim for variety and complexity in sentence structure.
Task Response
The essay presents a clear understanding of how technology has influenced human relationships.
Coherence and Cohesion
The use of comparisons between the past and present is effective in illustrating your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay maintains a clear focus throughout, which aids in overall coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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