IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small number of people*. *Some say that government should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that it would be a waste of money*. *Discuss both these views and give your opinion.*

#languages #danger #extinction #people* #*some #government #money #waste #money* #*discuss
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The
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of languages
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 in danger of
dissapering
Correct your spelling
disappearing
 and the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is that
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 are spoken by a small
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of individuals. There
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
debat
Correct your spelling
debate
debit
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
 topic where on
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand some people think that
Correct article usage
the goverment
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goverment
Correct your spelling
government
governments
 should spend public
money
Use synonyms
 on
savings
Correct your spelling
saving
show examples
 these languages and I agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion,
however
Linking Words
 on
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand others say that would be a waste of
money
Use synonyms
. The
language
Use synonyms
 of every country is not only the way to understand each other,talk or study in
this
Linking Words
language
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
although
Linking Words
 it is
emotional
Add an article
the emotional
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,extraordinary,individual,traditional point of society. Every
language
Use synonyms
 has
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 own vocabulary,
own
Correct pronoun usage
its own
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meanigfull
Correct your spelling
meaningful
 phrases, but the lexicon
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be only
assosiated
Correct your spelling
associated
 with that nation. So we can obviously say that
language
Use synonyms
 has
his
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 spiritual meaning that illustrates the individual and
exraordinaries
Correct your spelling
extraordinariness
 of every country which has
own
Correct pronoun usage
its own
show examples
 term - local.
This
Linking Words
oppinion
Correct your spelling
opinion
,which
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think
is
Correct pronoun usage
this is
show examples
 the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
right decision to spend public
money
Use synonyms
 on saving these various personalities/identifications of countries and their spiritual meanings to
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 generations.
According to
Linking Words
 the opinion of
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 half of amount of individuals that would be a waste of
money
Use synonyms
. The reason for
this
Linking Words
 opinion we can discuss as nowadays we are getting to the global recreation. That means that we have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 number of languages which are formally global. And
this
Linking Words
is giving
Wrong verb form
gives
show examples
 pupils
advanteges
Correct your spelling
advantages
as for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
,learning more information,
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
worldwide
Correct article usage
a worldwide
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 industry,
travel
Wrong verb form
travelling
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 all over the world. And it will be more
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 to talk and know the one
language
Use synonyms
 for everyone. To summarise there are many
thouthgs
Correct your spelling
thoughts
 to discuss and both sides of
topic
Correct article usage
the topic
show examples
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 their point of view,
however
Linking Words
 for me it is better to save the spiritual and traditional meaning of every
language
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because it is important to have
differencies
Correct your spelling
differences
 and
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 to compare. Feedback-Need to re-read for any spelling mistakes and typos. You do not need to paragraph the introduction, it can all be as one. Need to work on the use of punctuation. Need to make sure you are using it appropriately. You really have to organize your points better. The paragraphs are very difficult to follow. "and", "but" or "because" should not really be used
to begin
Linking Words
 academic sentences, use some strong linking words. Just feels like you need more work, right now
Submitted by zeynalli.tarana on

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Language Accuracy
Revise spelling and grammar errors to improve accuracy and readability.
Coherence
Work on organizing your ideas more clearly into structured paragraphs with clear topic sentences.
Cohesion
Avoid starting sentences with conjunctions like 'and', 'but', or 'because'. Use more formal linking words and phrases.
Task Response
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments.
Coherence
Ensure that every paragraph has a clear main idea and that ideas are logically connected.
Language Accuracy
Re-examine punctuation usage to improve sentence clarity.
Organisation
You have included an introduction and conclusion, which are important for essay structure.
Task Response
Both sides of the argument have been addressed, which is essential for fully responding to the task.
Content
You make a good point about the cultural and traditional significance of language, which adds depth to the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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