IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#aim #science #people #lives
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Currently, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 are interested in the purpose of the
science
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 advancement.
Someone
Correct your spelling
Some
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 argue that the most crucial goal of
science
Use synonyms
 is enhancing the general living standard of
people
Use synonyms
, and I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion. On the one hand, one of the most important financing
resource
Change to a plural noun
resources
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of
Change preposition
for
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science
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development
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 is
governments'
Change noun form
governments
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 grants.
For example
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, some institutions which can be considered as the center of
science
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development
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 universities. From my personal experience, most of
universities
Add an article
the universities
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 in the world are purely funded or partly funded by governments. And these
government
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 grants are
significant
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a significant
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 part of
government
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 spending, which comes from
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
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 paid by the citizen. In
this
Linking Words
 case, we can consider the general citizens or taxpayers are the main source of financial support
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
science
Use synonyms
development
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, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
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it is reasonable that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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science
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development
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 should give back to
the
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apply
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society
through
Change preposition
by
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 improving
people
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's living standards.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if
science
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development
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 cannot be used in
people
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's daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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,
this
Linking Words
 innovation will lose its market value and it cannot have
a
Remove the article
apply
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sustainable growth.
For example
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, one of the key
innovation
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innovations
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 recently is generative AI like ChatGPT, which can be used
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
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 basis and
making
Wrong verb form
make
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people
Use synonyms
's lives easier. So the generative AI itself can attract thousands of investors and they provide sufficient financing
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
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 for
further
Linking Words
development
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.
However
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, other
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development
Fix the agreement mistake
developments
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, like space exploration, cannot make money by themselves and
totally
Add a missing verb
are totally
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 funded by the
government
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. If the
government
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 change
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 mind or
contract
Fix the agreement mistake
contracts
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 budgets, the research progress of space exploration will have to
suspend
Wrong verb form
be suspended
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. In
this
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 case, to achieve long-term stable growth, improving
people
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's lives should be considered as a primary goal of
science
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. In conclusion,
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
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 is no doubt that the fundamental and significant aim of
science
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 is improving
people
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's living standards, as we take into consideration
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
who
pay
Change the verb form
pays
show examples
 for these developments and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sustainable growth.
Submitted by jiaojiaomingyue2003 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. Some parts need clearer transitions between ideas for better flow.
task achievement
Expand slightly on counter-arguments to demonstrate a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay offers a well-structured introduction and conclusion, enhancing readability and comprehension.
task achievement
The examples used, particularly regarding generative AI, are relevant and illustrate the points effectively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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