Many people choose to travel abroad to learn a foreign language instead of studying in their home town. Do the advantages of learning a new language in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

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Sure, here is the text from the image: It is argued that lots of people travel outside of the country to learn a new language

instead

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of taking lessons

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their country.

While

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many agree that

students

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feel the freedom for the first time they will do

unrisil

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until

behaviors

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behaviours

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I believe that

this

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will encourage them to be more responsible and learn a new culture. The main reason that some people

against

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are against

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students

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traveling

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travelling

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abroad is that they say

students

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will feel free more than

anytime

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any time

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This

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will make them act wild and get drunk or high. Some say that they may

loss

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lose

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their morals and start making many relationships.

For example

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according to

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New York magazine, 51% of

foreigner

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foreign

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college

students

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get drunk at the weekends.

However

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, I believe that if

students

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are

well-rised

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well-raised

well-risen

well-rise

, they will not act

irresponsible

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irresponsibly

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. Learning new cultures and traditions

are

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one of the benefits of studying abroad. Because

this

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allow

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allows

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them to gain lots of knowledge about the world.

For example

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according to

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oxford university

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Oxford University

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most of the

foreigner

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foreign

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students

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acquire new traditions from UK cultures,

such

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as praying before eating the meal. Another reason why studying abroad is beneficial is that it teaches

students

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to be more responsible than ever. By cooking and cleaning the house, they will depend more on themself. In my opinion, I believe that the advantages of learning abroad outweigh the disadvantages. In conclusion,

although

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many say that

student

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students

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should not study abroad, I believe that it will provide them with benefits

such

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as learning

new

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a new

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culture and

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being

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independent. I recommend all people who want to learn

new

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a new

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language to go outside of the country.

Submitted by layan992015 on Thu Jan 09 2025

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introduction conclusion present

Your essay could use a stronger thesis statement in the introduction to clearly outline your arguments.

logical structure

Aim to unify the ideas presented to form a clearer logical structure within paragraphs.

logical structure

Improve coherence by using more linking words or phrases to guide readers through your argument.

introduction conclusion present

You have a conclusion that effectively summarizes your arguments and reaffirms your stance.

supported main points

You provide examples to support your arguments, adding depth to your essay.

complete response

Your essay touches on multiple perspectives, which shows a good attempt at comprehensive discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

277 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Linguistic immersion
Cultural integration
International network
Conversational proficiency
Financial burden
Homesickness
Pedagogical differences
Culture shock

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Many people choose to travel abroad to learn a foreign language instead of studying in their home town. Do the advantages of learning a new language in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

some people believe that all children should learn a foreign language from the time they start school, while others feel it is better to wait until a child is at secondary school

You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment which you use for your job write a letter to the shop or company with supplied equipment in your letter describe the problem with equipment explain how this problem is affecting you say what you want the shop or company to do

In today's world many peoplel own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that we learn best through in person interaction with the teacher in a classroom. Others believe that learning is more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.