IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Today, thanks to improvements in communication technology and transportation, people can work and live wherever they want. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#thanks #improvements #communication #technology #transportation #people #work #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some Individuals can do their tasks and live anywhere they want because of rapid growth in
technology
Use synonyms
 and
transporation
Correct your spelling
transportation
.In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 there are more advantages than disadvantages of building
work
Use synonyms
 from
home
Use synonyms
 chance.
This
Linking Words
 Essay will discuss more benefits than drawbacks of using
this
Linking Words
 opportunity. The rapid increase in
commucation
Correct your spelling
communication
technology
Use synonyms
 and transportation has two main advantages.
Firstly
Linking Words
, "flexibility"
peolple
Correct your spelling
people
 can complete their
work
Use synonyms
 from wherever they want like from
home
Use synonyms
,
buses
Change preposition
on buses
show examples
, and
family
Change preposition
at family
show examples
 functions.So, employees
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
tend to
work
Use synonyms
 from their beneficial working conditions.
secondly
Linking Words
, "Reduced Costs"
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will help them to lessen their expenditure
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 travelling,food and clothes.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will help them to improve
savings
Correct pronoun usage
their savings
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, In New York,
According to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 survey
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2020 during
covid
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people had
Use synonyms
work from
Add a hyphen
work-from-home
show examples
home
Use synonyms
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 had improved their
flebility
Correct your spelling
flexibility
 working hours and reduced costs.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the increase in
technology
Use synonyms
 and transportation has two main disadvantages.
Firstly
Linking Words
, "
Use synonyms
work life
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
 balance" most of the employees who are habited for the
work
Use synonyms
 from
home
Use synonyms
 will not know about
Use synonyms
work life
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
 balance.
Secondly
Linking Words
, "Isolation and Mental health challenges"
Add a missing verb
are
show examples
the people working from closed places and not talking to anyone will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 them with major health issues and they tend to be more introverted. In
Marryland
Correct your spelling
Maryland
,
for example
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 man named John,
had
Correct pronoun usage
who had
show examples
 worked from a room,faced major health problems. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
 and
transporatation
Correct your spelling
transportation
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
brough
Correct your spelling
brought
 major positive changes in society. Nowadays, employees are having more benefits of doing their tasks from wherever they
wanted
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
.
Submitted by pranithaparasagani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar
Ensure spelling and grammatical consistencies, like 'peolple' and 'flebility', to make the text more professional.
Support and Development
Provide more balanced and detailed examples to illustrate both advantages and disadvantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using more linking words to enhance the flow of ideas, such as 'Moreover', 'Additionally', 'However', and 'Furthermore'.
Task Achievement
The essay presents clear advantages and disadvantages, providing a well-rounded view of the topic.
Introduction and Conclusion
Both the introduction and conclusion are clear and correctly formulated, presenting the topic and summarizing the discussion well.
Examples and Evidence
Relevant examples are included, which demonstrate understanding and application of real-world situations.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: