IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible ther familia in scientific research, business and the academic world, Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #information #familia #research #business #world
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The nature of research and business has undergone significant transformations with the introduction of mass media and
information
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 technology, influencing how individuals,
researchers
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, and entrepreneurs approach
information
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 sharing. One of the most disputed
topic
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topics
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 is whether
information
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 should be made accessible to all or
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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be shared selectively. In
this
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 essay, I will evaluate both sides and explain why I believe some
information
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shouldn
Correct your spelling
should
 not be made public. The proponents of public free
information
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 are strong advocators for
the
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apply
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transparency and accountability in
academic
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the academic
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 and financial world.
As a result
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, they are devoted to building an open platform for
information
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 exchange and facilitating
collabrations
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collaborations
collaboration
, claiming that doing
such
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 will prevent
researchers
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 from reinventing the wheels and free up more professionals to focus on innovations.
Furthermore
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,
by
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apply
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making financial
information
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 available, like publishing annual
audits
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audit
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 results of companies, can drive the wider society to supervise corporates,
thus
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address
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addressing
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 issues
such
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 as bribery and
nepolism
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nepotism
neologism
.
However
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, in my opinion,
this
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 will harm the sustainable and long-term development
in
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of
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 academia. Advanced projects and
expriements
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experiments
 usually attract
fundings
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funding
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 from industries and
as
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in
show examples
 return
to
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apply
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apply new findings to improve certain industrial products. Making all findings public will cut off profits and
consequencely
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consequently
disencourage
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discourage
 sponsors from
further
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 support. In the long run,
this
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 will increase
the
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apply
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financial instability and add burdens to individual
researchers
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.
In contrast
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, publishing
information
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 selectively and wisely will benefit
general
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the general
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 public well-being and
smooth
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the smooth
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function
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functioning
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 of
economic
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the economic
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 world. The groundbreaking news like economic downturns and political shifts tend to cause unnecessary public panics and anxieties;
for example
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, some medical breakthroughs might look promising in
early
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the early
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 stages
,
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apply
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 but could hit
unespcapable
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unescapable
inescapable
 bottlenecks or challenges in later stages. If
this
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 nature is not fully educated to the public, it could cause blinded
optimistic
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optimism
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 at first and
lack
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a lack
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confidence
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of confidence
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 later on. In the business world,
information
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such
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 as
profitibility
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profitability
,
aquisition
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acquisition
, and IPO (initial public offerings) are super confidential. The leak of those can result in unwanted fluctuations in stock markets. In conclusion,
although
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 making all
information
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 transparent and accessible has its benefits, I still firmly believe that releasing
information
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 selectively would benefit individuals,
researchers
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, and entrepreneurs as a whole.
Submitted by daisysungx on

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relevant specific examples
Include more specific examples to support your arguments, particularly from scientific research, business, or academic worlds.
logical structure
Aim for clearer transitions between paragraphs to enhance logical flow.
complete response
You provided a well-rounded discussion of both views, demonstrating a strong understanding of the essay topic.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are effectively presented.
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