IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010

#expenditure #two #countries #consumer #goods
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar graph illustrates the consumption of two nations on five consumer goods during 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, when considering all the figures,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the maximum proportion of individuals spend money on cars in both countries.
While
Linking Words
 perfumes had the minimum representation. At the onset, it is evident that in France, 400000
pounds
Use synonyms
 were spent on cars.
However
Linking Words
, there was a dramatic change in books which accounted for 300000
pounds
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there was a positive change in computer goods which generated just over 350000
pounds
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a minority of money was spent on perfumes and cameras which Showed 200000 and 150000
pounds
Use synonyms
 respectively, Looking at
further
Linking Words
 details, the largest proportion of individuals bought cars in the UK, which accounted for 450000
pounds
Use synonyms
.
Conversely
Linking Words
, computers and books cost 350000 and 400000
pounds
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the smallest ratio of UK people was spent on perfumes.
Lastly
Linking Words
, just over 350000
pounds
Use synonyms
 was illustrated by cameras in the UK.
Submitted by karanbadwal3233 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language use
Ensure the use of correct prepositions and word forms when indicating amounts and changes (e.g., 'a dramatic increase to', 'the amount spent on').
task response
Provide a more precise comparison when describing the differences between the two countries (e.g., 'France spent 50,000 pounds more on books than the UK'). This will enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness.
structure
Conclude by summarizing the main findings for both countries to give a rounded conclusion.
task response
The essay provides a clear overall trend for the consumer goods expenditure in both countries.
coherence
Main points are logically structured, making it easy to follow the information presented from introduction to detailed comparison.
language use
Uses a varied sentence structure and vocabulary well to describe the data.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • consumer goods
  • chart
  • countries
  • overall
  • compare
  • analyze
  • categories
  • consumer spending
  • trends
  • proportions
  • statistics
  • increase
  • decrease
  • significant
  • notable
  • remarkable
  • substantial
  • considerable
  • determine
  • conclude
  • in conclusion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: