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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The maps bellow show changes experienced by the town of Lakeside at the beginning of the a1"° century. Summarize the information by reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Gia Linh

The maps bellow show changes experienced by the town of Lakeside at the beginning of the a1"° century. Summarize the information by reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Gia Linh
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The given maps illustrate
tye
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 alteration of Lakeside
town
Capitalize word
Town
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 at the beginning of the 21st century.
Overall
Linking Words
, the town developed considerably in the period with the renovation of
industrial
Add an article
the industrial
an industrial
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 complex and the appearance of service areas,
while
Linking Words
 the lake
become
Wrong verb form
became
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 smaller and
turn
Wrong verb form
turned
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 into a pond.
In
Change preposition
On
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 the left side of the river, the residential
area
Use synonyms
 and the arts centre nearby were destroyed and replaced by the shopping centre and the new cinema respectively.
In addition
Linking Words
, a small car park was erected on the original site of the Derelict warehouses and the old town next to
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 warehouses was
also
Linking Words
 knocked down to make room for
Use synonyms
area
Add an article
the area
an area
show examples
 of the offices and a new university to serve the education and employment of residents. Meanwhile, the schools and the residential
area
Use synonyms
 in the northwest corner stayed unchanged.
In
Change preposition
On
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 the right side of the river,
residential
Correct article usage
a residential
show examples
area
Use synonyms
 in the North of Lakeside was
also
Linking Words
 demolished to make way for the huge extension of
industrial
Add an article
an industrial
the industrial
show examples
 complex. At the same period, the lake at the beginning of the river was
also
Linking Words
 narrowed into
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 small pond.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words area with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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