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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Madina

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country #madina
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Nowadays, some people argue that skilled workers should be necessary to keep working in their own nation, where they
practiced
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practised
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.
However
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, others prefer
this
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 individuals
need
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apply
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to choose freedom decision where they want to
work
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 .
This
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 essay will discuss
the
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apply
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both perspectives.
To begin
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 with,
specialist
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a specialist
the specialist
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 who
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work
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works
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 in their birthplace
have
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has
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 many negative aspects, like limited knowledge,
experience
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and experience
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.
Also
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, there are some bribes and after finishing university in payment , students must
to
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apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 off.
For instance
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, in
Kazakhstan
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Kazakhstan,
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 the number of medical practitioners with low
knowledge ability
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knowledgeability
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 constitutes 32 % and it’s increasing every year.
However
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, I believe that the
payoffs
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payoff
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 main disadvantage. On
other
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the other
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 hand, today many professionals ,
such
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 as doctors and engineers need to
work
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 abroad for better backgrounds ,
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also
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and also
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 for
a good salaries
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a good salary
good salaries
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. Because
,
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apply
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 working in another country you allow grow and it is
road
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the road
a road
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 to
career
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a career
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 move.
Moreover
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, it is beneficial for
birth
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the birth
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 government , they don’t need to devise
budget
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a budget
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 for your education .
Then
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 , it is freedom for
community
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the community
a community
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 to choose where they will
work
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 , to be more intelligent .
For example
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, the numerous
of
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apply
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engineers from developing countries often move to technologically advanced nations to
work
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 , and
this
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help
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helps
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 them to get valuable knowledge. In conclusion,
while
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 it is important for skilled workers to contribute to their home countries, the freedom to choose where to
work
Use synonyms
 allows professionals to gain valuable experience and grow in their careers. By working abroad, they can
also
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 benefit both themselves and their countries through ability
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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task achievement
The introduction clearly outlines the two perspectives, but ensure each perspective is addressed equally and with sufficient detail. Consider providing more balanced arguments for both sides.
task achievement
Ensure that each idea is fully developed and explores both the pros and cons. Adding more evidence or examples can strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Improve cohesion by linking ideas more smoothly and clearly. Try using cohesive devices and transitional phrases to make the essay flow better.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, but consider reiterating the arguments in more detail to reinforce your position.
introduction
The essay begins with a clear introduction and sets the context for the discussion.
conclusion
The conclusion provides a summary of the discussed points and presents a personal opinion.
supported main points
Some valid points and examples have been provided in support of both views.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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