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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Zhaina

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Zhaina
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The line graph below illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of shop
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 which were closed and the new shops during the 7-year period in one nation.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of shopping centres which were closed in
this
Linking Words
 period declined slightly,except, in 2015 we can see the greatest falling
number
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the average
number
Use synonyms
 of opening shopping places shows a dramatic decrease in
this
Linking Words
 period.
According to
Linking Words
 the information, there are the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of stores in 2011 which were opened with the
number
Use synonyms
 8,500.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of stores dropped in 2012 to 4,000.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, after two years it again enhanced. But, in 2015 it fell to 4,000 till 2017 with a stable
number
Use synonyms
,and
then
Linking Words
 we can see change in 2018 which dropped again. Meanwhile,the closing shop
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 increased slightly in 2013 to 7,000 and
then
Linking Words
 dropped again to 6,500.
However
Linking Words
,
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 statistic, closed stores decreased dramatically in 2015 to the minimum
number
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 chart.
Hence
Linking Words
,
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, they again increased in 2016 to 5,000, and the final result was in 2018 with a stable
number
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "after this".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
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