Some people believe that we cannot go without TV in our modern life. What is your opinion about the positive effects of TV on our life?

#people #tv #life #effects

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this

Linking Words

development of our modern society, it is not surprising that television is used widely. Many people

posite

Correct your spelling

posted

that

Use synonyms

has a lot of benefits and they can not live without

Use synonyms

. I totally agree with the idea and will discuss

Correct pronoun usage

it in

show examples

this

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essay. On the one hand, watching

Use synonyms

is a good way to relax.

For example

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, after a tiring day, family members can sit together and watch

Use synonyms

shows, comedies or films.

It's

Unnecessary verb

show examples

not only

entertain

Correct subject-verb agreement

entertains

show examples

themselves

Remove the comma

apply

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but

also

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gather

Correct subject-verb agreement

gathers

show examples

individuals together.

Thus

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, television makes everyone happy.

Moreover

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, a person can broaden his mind thanks to

Use synonyms

progammes

Correct your spelling

programmes

. Some channels like BBC News and Podcast help viewers gain new knowledge. Watching

Use synonyms

is a clever way to obtain knowledge.

Linking Words

Also

Add a comma

Also,

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it captures the imagination of each person.

Therefore

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community

Add an article

the community

a community

show examples

can absorb and improve their skills through

Use synonyms

programmes.

On the other hand

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, watching

Use synonyms

so much gradually

leading

Wrong verb form

leads

show examples

to some serious problems. Sitting in front of the screen

long

Change preposition

for long

show examples

hour

Fix the agreement mistake

hours

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will cause obesity and far-sightedness. The light from the screen

affect

Change the verb form

affects

show examples

Change preposition

apply

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the brain, after a long time watching

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, an individual will feel dizzy

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

headache

Add an article

a headache

show examples

. In

summarize

Replace the word

summary

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, television has lots of advantages in assisting the masses in entertaining themselves and gathering everybody together. People

also

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learn from some programmes

Change preposition

show examples

Use synonyms

. Despite the drawbacks of abusing

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, people can take numerous

Change preposition

apply

show examples

benefits from it when using it purposely.

Submitted by vophamhongphuc00 on Fri Jan 10 2025

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples to strengthen your points. For instance, instead of mentioning 'TV shows, comedies or films' in general, you could refer to a few specific programs that are popular and widely watched.

language

Be careful with word choice; instead of 'parate', use 'posit.' Also, when mentioning the negative effects of watching too much TV, it might be clearer to say 'reduce screen time' instead of 'using it purposely.' Minimal grammatical errors shouldn't overshadow the clarity of expression.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task achievement

Your essay effectively presents multiple perspectives on the topic and acknowledges both the benefits and drawbacks of television.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

235 words

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Some people believe that we cannot go without TV in our modern life. What is your opinion about the positive effects of TV on our life?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that businesses should support local communities as itaoffers a chance for marketing and promotion. Others consider thatcommunities should be supported by the government, not by businesses.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualifications are more important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. Why is this a case? To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Many people believe working from home is better than going to an office. Others believe it is better to work in an office environment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion about it.

Some people prefer to live in rented homes rather than purchasing their own homes. Do you think advantages of living in rented house outweigh the disadvantages?