IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, while other schools have a very relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children of having a school uniform?

#schools #school #uniforms #appearance #pupils #dress #code #children #uniform
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Many
school
Change to a plural noun
schools
show examples
had
Wrong verb form
have
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a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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comfortable clothes for study ,
while
Linking Words
 in some universities
are
Correct pronoun usage
there are
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 very serious
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
rulies
Correct your spelling
rules
rulers
in
Change preposition
about
show examples
 their
uniforms
Use synonyms
 and pupils follow the very strict rules made by universities.
While
Linking Words
 there are certain drawbacks ,they are outweighed by the benefits . One
promblem
Correct your spelling
problem
accoitend
Correct your spelling
associated
 with
materials
Correct article usage
the materials
show examples
 of the
uniforms
Use synonyms
 is that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 could give some allergies
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 students .
This
Linking Words
because
Add a missing verb
is because
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 the majority of the
uniforms
Use synonyms
make
Wrong verb form
are made
show examples
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different materials which could be allegories for some pupils.
However
Linking Words
, Having allegories from different types of material could create
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health issues. Mode is another factor of disadvantage wearing
uniforms
Use synonyms
 for education, the most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students hate
uniforms
Use synonyms
 because it is uncomfortable to move or just
old
Correct article usage
an old
show examples
 style of uniform.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Wearing
uniform
Correct article usage
a uniform
show examples
 for casual could damage or dirty quickly during
day
Correct article usage
the day
show examples
 and
Correct your spelling
instead
intead
Correct your spelling
instead
 of
uniform
Correct article usage
a uniform
show examples
, they
are preferred
Wrong verb form
prefer
show examples
 more modern clothes with
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
quality materials
Submitted by mesney.2008 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to structure your essay with clear paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion to improve logical flow.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt to achieve a more complete response.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to enhance the relevance and support of your arguments.
task achievement
You have clearly identified some of the disadvantages of school uniforms, such as allergies and outdated fashion.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes relevant vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'materials', 'allergies', and 'modern clothes'.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • peer pressure
  • bullying
  • socio-economic differences
  • school spirit
  • unity
  • discipline
  • belonging
  • self-expression
  • individuality
  • personal development
  • fashion-related distractions
  • academic performance
  • morning routine
  • comfort
  • financial burden
  • cultural differences
  • diverse backgrounds
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