In some parts of theworld traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What are the causes

The main reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

Correct article usage

the festival

show examples

festival

Change noun form

festival's

show examples

disappearence

Correct your spelling

disappearance

could be a changed lifestyle. Nowadays, people are busy

Change preposition

apply

show examples

working and earning rather than enjoying any festival. Because of

this

Linking Words

, people are

loosing

Replace the word

losing

show examples

interest in celebrating their festivals.

For example

Linking Words

, immigrants, to manage their expenses give preference to work even on festival time.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they are not showing interest because they are getting older. In

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

childhood, people were more excited to celebrate, but nowadays as

responsibities

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

are increasing, individuals

are forgetting

Wrong verb form

forget

show examples

to enjoy

during

Correct pronoun usage

them during

show examples

festivals.

kaurgurjot95

Jan 10, 2025

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introduction conclusion organization

Provide a more structured introduction and conclusion to your essay to enhance its overall cohesiveness.

insufficient details

Address the issue more comprehensively by discussing multiple causes and giving balanced views.

requires more examples

Use more specific examples to illustrate the points made, which will help in strengthening your argument.

relevance of ideas

The essay presents a relevant discussion on the modern lifestyle impacting festival celebrations.

example usage

Good attempt to offer an example of immigrants prioritizing work even during festivals.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

83 words

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Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe it is better to raise children in the city, while others consider the countryside to be more suitable choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

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Some people believe that we should not study history, as it has little or nothing to tell us. Do you agree or disagree.

In many parts of the world, women study science and technology, but do not work in these fields". It is cause and solution essay