IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some parts of theworld traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What are the causes

The main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Correct article usage
the festival
show examples
festival
Change noun form
festival's
show examples
disappearence
Correct your spelling
disappearance
 could be a changed lifestyle. Nowadays, people are busy
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working and earning rather than enjoying any festival. Because of
this
Linking Words
, people are
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
 interest in celebrating their festivals.
For example
Linking Words
, immigrants, to manage their expenses give preference to work even on festival time.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they are not showing interest because they are getting older. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
childhood, people were more excited to celebrate, but nowadays as
responsibities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
 are increasing, individuals
are forgetting
Wrong verb form
forget
show examples
 to enjoy
during
Correct pronoun usage
them during
show examples
 festivals.

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introduction conclusion organization
Provide a more structured introduction and conclusion to your essay to enhance its overall cohesiveness.
insufficient details
Address the issue more comprehensively by discussing multiple causes and giving balanced views.
requires more examples
Use more specific examples to illustrate the points made, which will help in strengthening your argument.
relevance of ideas
The essay presents a relevant discussion on the modern lifestyle impacting festival celebrations.
example usage
Good attempt to offer an example of immigrants prioritizing work even during festivals.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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