IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows relative price changes for fresh fruits and vegetables, sugars and sweets, and carbonated drinks between 1978 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows relative price changes for fresh fruits and vegetables, sugars and sweets, and carbonated drinks between 1978 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#price #changes #fruits #vegetables #sugars #sweets #drinks #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph provides information about the changes in the
price
Use synonyms
 of three different food product groups from 1979 to 2009 and the
overall
Linking Words
 trend of the consumer
price
Use synonyms
index
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
30- year
Correct your spelling
30-year
 period.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
Use synonyms
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 increased for both three food products despite some fluctuations.
However
Linking Words
, just the expense
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 fresh fruits and vegetables
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
significantly increased above the rise in the general consumer-
price
Use synonyms
index
Use synonyms
. All the lines on the graph have the same starting figure at 50 in 1979. Over the period, the consumer
price
Use synonyms
index
Use synonyms
 steadily increased to more than 200 in 2009. The
price
Use synonyms
 for sugar
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
sweets and carbonated drinks witnessed similar trends.
However
Linking Words
, since 1987, they
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 been below the consumer
price
Use synonyms
index
Use synonyms
 average. After some minor fluctuations, the number for sugar and sweets was
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
200 in 2009 higher than that for carbonated drinks at 150. Though fresh fruits and vegetables faced a short period of decrease between 1983 and 1985, the number
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
Linking Words
this product
Fix the agreement mistake
these products
show examples
raised
Verb problem
rose
show examples
 significantly after that. After 30 years, the prices finished at roughly 350 on the
index
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by dangkimngan19062001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, overall".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words price, index with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: