IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In most successful companies, some people think that communicaton between employers and workers is the most important factor. Other people say that other factors are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#companies #people #communicaton #employers #workers #factor #factors
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There is no denying the fact that companies’ management styles are diverse.
While
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 it is held belief that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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health
Replace the word
healthy
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 communication between employers and
workers
Use synonyms
 is a crucial factor in ensuring the success of any company,there is
also
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 an argument that opposes it.
This
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 essay will discuss both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, open communication enhances the work environment which will develop
employees
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' performance.
In other words
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,
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a health
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health
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healthy
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 work environment is
vital
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a vital
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 matter in order to increase the quality of the company's outcome.
In addition
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, open communication is the key for every employer who aims to earn the loyalty of her/his
workers
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.
For example
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,
studie
Correct your spelling
studies
 have proven that private sessions will make the
employees
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 feel that their manager listens to them and understands their circumstances and needs. In terms of the other elements that could make companies succeed, we could say that they are various
such
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 as rewarding the
workers
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 after achieving their tasks and duties. It is
also
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 possible to say that
salary
Correct article usage
a salary
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 increase is the most effective factor, rewarding your distinguished
employees
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 in order to motivate them to accomplish more.
For instance
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, these gestures will make other
employees
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 dedicate their efforts to
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhancing
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 their performance. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that the success of a company must be planned and well prepared to achieve it.
Moreover
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, I consider that the
workers
Use synonyms
 are the real asset to develop and construct the companies.
Submitted by omima7a7md on

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task achievement
Be sure to maintain a consistent level of detail in your paragraphs. The first body paragraph could benefit from more specific examples to match the depth found in the second paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all ideas flow logically from one to another, particularly when transitioning from the discussion of open communication to other factors like rewards.
task achievement
The essay presents a well-balanced discussion of both views and includes the writer's opinion neatly at the end, showing a strong task response.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively structured, providing a clear framework for the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The explanation of open communication and rewards as motivating factors is clear and effectively links to the overall success of companies.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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