IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

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Nowadays,
by
Change preposition
with
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 the growth of technology, agricultural technology witnessed
a
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apply
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growth too. Despite these improvements, there are still some people who are struggling to find food. Why is it so and what could be the action to tackle it? In
this
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 essay,
i
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I
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 will discuss the reasons and try to propose some solutions. In recent decades, lots of developed
countries
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are
Wrong verb form
have been
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equiped
Correct your spelling
equipped
 with modern agricultural
machiens
Correct your spelling
machines
 and technology,
While
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other
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others
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 are not up to date.
That is
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 to say that poor
countries
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are having
Wrong verb form
have
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 financial barriers, in order to import or make these kinds of equipment.
In addition
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, providing the infrastructures
of
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for
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 using them,
such
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 as lands or even expert human
resource
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resources
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, needs a great deal of money.
Due to
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this
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, in these
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countries
Add a comma
countries,
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 advancement in different fields is not an issue. But there
seems
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seem
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 to be some ways to face these
peroblems
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problems
. Generally speaking, people could help disadvantaged people by donating to some places
such
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 as
the
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apply
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UNICEF. Take Africa as an example. In recent years
this
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 organization allocated most of its food donations to there. Another solution would be the investment of other
countries
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 in poor
reigons
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regions
. By doing so, poor
countries
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 would have economic improvements
as well as
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 more food.
Therefore
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, both sides tend to benefit from doing
such
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thing
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a thing
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. In conclusion,
Although
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 some
countries
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 have advanced their methods
in
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of
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 farming, the hunger
issues
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issue
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 is not erected yet.
However
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,
i
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I
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 believe by making
this
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 knowledge worldwide,
this
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 problem would become less common. And help of the modern
countries
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 is the key to it.

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Task Response
Ensure you address all parts of the question thoroughly. While you discussed causes and potential solutions, further elaboration on both aspects could enhance response completeness.
Coherence
Improve coherence by using clearer paragraphing and more cohesive devices such as linking words or phrases to connect ideas smoothly.
Coherence
Ensure each main idea is well-supported with specific examples or detailed explanations to strengthen your essay's argument.
Coherence
The essay includes both an introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your arguments effectively.
Task Response
You provided a logical structure by discussing both causes and solutions related to the topic, showcasing an understanding of the task.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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