In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In recent decades, growth in technology has affected farming methods. People hope

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

these

show examples

advances help to

eleminate

Correct your spelling

eliminate

hunger worldwide.

While

Linking Words

there are still some

countries

Use synonyms

around the world that it's citizens are still struggling

which

Correct your spelling

with

show examples

this

Linking Words

issue. In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

will discuss

this

Linking Words

and propose some solutions. Nowadays, in lots of developed

countries

Use synonyms

, farmers use state-of-the-art

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

instead

Linking Words

of the old ones in order to be more productive.

Linking Words

This

Correct determiner usage

These

show examples

machins

Correct your spelling

machines

are not available in developing

countries

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, these

countries

Use synonyms

most of the time do not have the financial or

infrustructral

Correct your spelling

infrastructural

ability to use them.

As a result

Linking Words

, these poor

countries

Use synonyms

are forced to import food which they seem to have lots of

bariers

Correct your spelling

barriers

to do so. In many cases,

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

of people who live in these

countries

Use synonyms

are disadvantaged too.

Due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

advancement in agriculture is not the case in developing

countries

Use synonyms

to erect hunger

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

This

Linking Words

problem could be addressed

Change preposition

with

show examples

the help of people all around the world. What

Change the capitalization

show examples

mean by

this

Linking Words

is that each individual could donate money to companies that are built to aid

vulnurable

Correct your spelling

vulnerable

ones.

In addition

Linking Words

, some crucial crops and

waters

Fix the agreement mistake

water

show examples

could be donated to these

placeses

Correct your spelling

places

too. A good example of

this

Linking Words

places

Fix the agreement mistake

place

show examples

would be Unisef where yearly sends

these

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

food and water donations to poor

countries

Use synonyms

and

save

Correct subject-verb agreement

saves

show examples

their lives. In conclusion, despite all the agricultural advances, food obstacle still exists

globaly

Correct your spelling

globally

. In developing

Use synonyms

countries

Add a comma

countries,

show examples

money is the biggest problem.

Nonetheless

Linking Words

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

some ways like

donation

Fix the agreement mistake

donations

show examples

to help them pass

this

Linking Words

issue

Submitted by bahram.azizzade on Sat Jan 11 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your main ideas regarding the lack of access to modern equipment and financial inability in developing countries are relevant, but they could be supported with more detailed examples or statistics to strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Try to introduce varied sentence structures and vocabulary to improve the clarity and complexity of your ideas.

coherence cohesion

The essay is generally well-structured with clear paragraphs. However, working on smoothing transitions between your ideas could enhance the cohesion.

coherence cohesion

There are some minor grammar and spelling errors (e.g., ''machins,'' ''infrustructral,'' ''Unisef'') that could be corrected for clarity and precision.

coherence cohesion

You presented a clear introduction and conclusion, framing your discussion effectively.

task achievement

You provided a practical solution (donations through organizations like UNICEF), which is a relevant example to support your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

inequality
distribution
access to resources
climate change
natural disasters
political factors
economic factors
agricultural practices
infrastructure
transportation
population growth
education
knowledge
food waste

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Space travel has been possible for some time. Some people think space tourism could be developed in the future which can help to develop countries' economies. To what extent do you think this is a positive or negative development ?
In my opinion, space expendition can bring nation vast economical prospects due to it reputation. To simplify, a trip go back and form in space can cost up to approximately millions of currencies in order to purchase the neccessary equipments on the futher trips. Therefore, space travel can bring a huge economy benefits to the host country.
5
band
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The authorities nowadays are concerned about economic growth as it has an essential role to take power globally and expand their national interactions. Many have argued that society’s development is related to various aspects of progress. I completely agree that other edges of a community such as cultural and social awareness, technology and the quality of life should have take priority or at least be considered at the same level of importance.
8
band
In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?
Society always expects people to give their best while usually a few of them can sustain. However, it has been observed that some seem to exert more effort than the average person. This essay will discuss why some people work harder than others and whether it is always a positive thing.
4
band
What are the pros and cons of using public transport ?
Public transport is increasingly being used and widely developed all over the world.However it also has positive and negative sides.In this essay , I will discuss some of the reasons why using public transport is being widely used and some of the challenges to be overcome.
4
band
We are typically living in the digital world and Internet plays the crucial role. Things which were impossible few decades formerly can be performed tip of the finger.Because of internet the world has come more familiar. As the internet service is becoming cheap modern day by day many modern smartphones has evolved in last few years.
In the contemporary era, smartphones have become an indispensable aspect of our lives, driving a surging demand for internet connectivity. This demand spans across various age groups as smartphones facilitate seamless integration into daily activities, underscoring their pivotal role in the increasing accessibility of the internet.

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Fully explain your ideas

Space travel has been possible for some time. Some people think space tourism could be developed in the future which can help to develop countries' economies. To what extent do you think this is a positive or negative development ?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

What are the pros and cons of using public transport ?