In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extend do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays,
by
the growth in technology and living Change preposition
with
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
condition
Add a comma
condition,
people
can live longer than before. Use synonyms
This
means that more Linking Words
people
on Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the plant
plant
and even Correct your spelling
planet
elder
society in some countries. But how Replace the word
elderly
do
Change the verb form
does
this
population Linking Words
phnomena
affect? In Correct your spelling
phenomenon
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
i
will Change the capitalization
I
disscus
the cons and pros of Correct your spelling
discuss
ageing
population and give my own opinion.
A growing number of Add an article
an ageing
the ageing
people
argue that higher life expectancy is followed by some problems, Use synonyms
specially
for the authorities. Replace the word
especially
Higher
number of Add an article
A higher
The higher
old
generation means that Correct article usage
the old
government
should Correct article usage
the government
provid
a great deal of facilities for them Correct your spelling
provide
such
as health and Linking Words
caring
. That Replace the word
care
tend
to be a reason for taking more tax from Change the verb form
tends
sitizens
which may make their lives challenging too.
Another issue related to Correct your spelling
citizens
this
for the government might be Linking Words
labor
Change the spelling
labour
resource
. Fix the agreement mistake
resources
Ageing
population means Verb problem
The ageing
retired
group of Add an article
the retired
a retired
the
society which may lead to Correct article usage
apply
lack
of human force. Correct article usage
a lack
This
situation could result in Linking Words
a serious problems
. A good example of Correct the article-noun agreement
serious problems
a serious problem
this
would be factories where they need Linking Words
people
in order to be productive.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, some Linking Words
people
think society would benefit by having an elder group. They say these Use synonyms
people
carry lots of Use synonyms
experiences
and knowledge. Fix the agreement mistake
experience
Due to
Linking Words
this
, they tend to play an important role in some Linking Words
people
's Use synonyms
life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
That is
to say, in many Linking Words
cases
elder Add a comma
cases,
people
are wise consults to share your problems with.
Use synonyms
Secondly
, There is another argument that older Linking Words
people
tend toUse synonyms
Add a missing verb
be a
a
reason Correct article usage
the
of
their family gatherings. Take Yalda night as an example, in Change preposition
for
this
night based on some Linking Words
persian
traditions Change the capitalization
Persian
people
have to go Use synonyms
their
Change preposition
to their
elders
homes, Change to a genitive case
elder's
elders'
grand parents
Correct your spelling
grandparents
mostely
. Correct your spelling
mostly
As a
Linking Words
result
elder Add a comma
result,
people
could be considered as a strong linker between family members and a key to keep them close.
Use synonyms
To sum up
, having Linking Words
older
group may affect countries in Correct article usage
an older
diffrent
aspects. It could be difficulties like tax and healthcare or advantages Correct your spelling
different
such
as good Linking Words
advise
or closer family. Replace the word
advice
Although
there are some pros in having them, Linking Words
i
believe the Change the capitalization
I
economical
issues are very difficult to Replace the word
economic
be handled
.Wrong verb form
handle
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on
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grammar
Work on reducing small grammatical and spelling errors, such as 'phnomena' to 'phenomena', 'provid' to 'provide', and 'sitizens' to 'citizens'. These errors slightly distract the reader but don't hinder the overall understanding.
coherence
For coherence and cohesion, try to improve the logical flow of your arguments. Consider using more linking phrases between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
In task achievement, aim to elaborate a bit more on each point. This will help make your ideas clearer and more comprehensive.
task response
The essay presents a balanced view, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of an ageing population, which aligns well with the task response criterion.
introduction/conclusion
A well-structured introduction and conclusion frame the essay nicely, and help the reader understand your position and summary of arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.