The charts give information about employment in the UK in 1998 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts give information about employment in the UK in 1998 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie chart provides data about the
jobs
Use synonyms
in the United Kingdom in the years
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1998 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
the figure for
men
Use synonyms
working in full and
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
occuptions
Correct your spelling
occupations
occupation
in both years accounted for more than 60% of employment in the UK.
Although
Linking Words
Use synonyms
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
employment number
was increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
from 1988 to 2012, it is still lower than
Use synonyms
men
Change noun form
men's
show examples
.
According to
Linking Words
the
informatoin
Correct your spelling
information
shown in the graph, we can notice that the number of
jobs
Use synonyms
for
men
Use synonyms
as a full
time
Use synonyms
were decreasing from 53%, ended up to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
47%
at the end
Linking Words
of the period,
while
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
working as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
increased
1
Change preposition
by 1
show examples
% between 1998 and 2012 to
represnts
Correct your spelling
represent
represents
7%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the women
show examples
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
figure for
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
was increasing from 19% to 26.
In addition
Linking Words
to that
while
Linking Words
the
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
increase,
women
Use synonyms
working in
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
jobs
Use synonyms
on the other hand
Linking Words
decreased,
thus
Linking Words
it ended reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20% in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2012.  Based on the
grapgh
Correct your spelling
graph
, the sum up of
Change noun form
men's
show examples
men
Use synonyms
emplyment
Correct your spelling
employment
as full
or
Correct your spelling
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
jobs
Use synonyms
represnts
Correct your spelling
represents
almost 65% with
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
loosning
Correct your spelling
loosening
loosing
percents
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
women
Use synonyms
,.
Change the punctuation
,
.
show examples
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
Use synonyms
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
careers as full
time
Use synonyms
increased
7
Change preposition
by 7
show examples
%,
while
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
jobs
Use synonyms
decreased
2
Change preposition
by 2
show examples
% in the year 2012.
Submitted by m.e.a1434 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words jobs, men, part, time, women with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rate
  • economic landscape
  • information technology
  • service industry
  • manufacturing
  • agriculture
  • sector shift
  • healthcare sector
  • public administration
  • education sector
  • advancements in technology
  • traditional industries
  • modern sectors
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