IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The graph below shows how elderly people in the United States spent their free time between 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows how elderly people in the United States spent their free time between 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#people #states #time #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph
highlight
Change the verb form
highlights
show examples
 data about the five
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
leisure
Change preposition
of leisure
show examples
 time of old
people
Use synonyms
 percentation change in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 four
decade
Fix the agreement mistake
decades
show examples
 in
Correct article usage
the Unieted
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Unieted
Correct your spelling
United
 States.
Overall
Linking Words
, american old
people
Use synonyms
 spent generally 5 types
activities
Change preposition
of activities
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
over the
last
Linking Words
fourty
Correct your spelling
forty
four
 years,
while
Linking Words
 most of the
people
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 watching television in their free time,
while
Linking Words
 the greatest increase was hiking could be seen in
this
Linking Words
 period.
Beginnig
Correct your spelling
Beginning
, 20
precent
Correct your spelling
per cent
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 hiking
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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anywhere,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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 percentage slightly rocketed to 80%
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between 1980 to 2010. Looking at the details of free time activities,
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 three activities
had been
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
flactuated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
 by elderly
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
states
Capitalize word
States
show examples
.
Specially
Replace the word
Especially
show examples
 reading book
activitie
Correct your spelling
activities
activity
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dramatically decreased between 1990 to 2000, but
this
Linking Words
acitivity
Correct your spelling
activity
 had been significantly trebled in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 decade. Internet usage saw a dramatic rise of 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
states
Capitalize word
States
show examples
reaching
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2010,
otherwise
Linking Words
 watching television activity was slowly reduced in
this
Linking Words
 period.
Submitted by uran.n0815 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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