IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The tаblе and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in оnе аrеа of Britain. The tаblе shows where the mоnеу саtе from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The tаblе and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in оnе аrеа of Britain. The tаblе shows where the mоnеу саtе from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table and pie charts display information about
police
Correct article usage
the police
show examples
 budget, they
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
Add an article
the
show examples
source of money and data about how it was allocated,respectively
in
Linking Words
particular
Add an article
a particular
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 of
Britiain
Correct your spelling
Britain
 for 2017 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
,
police
Correct article usage
the police
show examples
 budget slightly increased in one year and the majority part of
money
Add an article
the money
show examples
 came from
national
Add an article
the national
show examples
 government for both
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
. The maximum percentage of money was spent
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 officers and staff as a salary in each 365 days. With a detailed analysis of the table,
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
 budget rose from 304.7 to 318.6
due to
Linking Words
 growth in sources. There was a huge increase in local taxes, it reached from 91.2 to 102.3 in 2018. Other sources
such
Linking Words
 as grants only negligible increased during
this
Linking Words
 period and was 38.5.
According to
Linking Words
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
 charts, the rate of salaries was three quarters in 2017 and
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 69% in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 year.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
buildings
Correct article usage
the buildings
show examples
 and transport’s percentage remained the same amount for 2017 and 2018. The only growth was in
rate
Add an article
the rate
show examples
 of technology so it increased from 8% to 14%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget
  • funding sources
  • income
  • distribution
  • allocation
  • government grants
  • local taxes
  • expenses
  • operational costs
  • administration
  • community programs
  • salaries
  • law enforcement
  • financial trends
  • comparative analysis
  • implications
What to do next:
Look at other essays: