IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

This chart below gives information about how commuters travelled to work in one city in New Zealand

This chart below gives information about how commuters travelled to work in one city in New Zealand
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Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
The
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 chart below gives information about how commuters travelled to work in one city in New Zealand in 1996 and in 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
, the graph shows statistical data on the use of each type of transport or moving. As can be seen from the bar chart, 50
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 of employed
people
Use synonyms
 travelled to work by private car or truck in 1996, which is approximately 12% more than in 2006. These types of transport are the most popular among those presented. In 1996, the company vehicle was used by about 10
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 of employed
people
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in 2006,
this
Linking Words
 figure rose by around 5%. Slightly less than 10
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 of employed
people
Use synonyms
 worked at home in 1996. In 2006,
this
Linking Words
 figure did not change much and reached just over 8%.One of the most uncommon ways to get to work in New Zealand is by train and motorcycle. Approximately 2
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 of
people
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 used a motorcycle in 1996. In 2006,
this
Linking Words
 number decreased to a critical level, which is nearly 1%.
People
Use synonyms
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
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 by train more often, in 1996
this
Linking Words
 number reached a little more than 4%, and in 2006 around 3%.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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