IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important, and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#education #people #countries #adults #governments #money
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Education is a vital element in everyone’s life.
Due to
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 that, some people believe that adult literacy should be given priority by the law and should
also
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 assign more funds to it,
instead
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 of young children's schooling.
However
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, I disagree with
this
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 opinion, and in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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 the government should spend
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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 equally
Firstly
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, adult literacy has a strong impact on a provincial's economic and social development,
therefore
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 the politics should invest more cash in their development to rapidly grow the homey. The primary reason for the economic crisis is that adults contribute directly to society by adding value to businesses and culture with their education.
Secondly
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, the ministry has to allocate capital to the younger generation
such
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 as schools, universities and more. The predominant cause is that they are future professionals and the future of the countrified will be influenced by them. We have to develop schools and universities,
however
Linking Words
, it won’t
be
Verb problem
have
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 an immediate effect on
a
Change the article
an
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 agrarian, but they will rise by high standards and learn how to make decisions at
the
Correct article usage
a
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 young age In conclusion, in order to develop one sphere, it’d be better to establish investment
bill
Fix the agreement mistake
bills
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 equally
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 adults and
younger
Add an article
the younger
a younger
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 generation
Submitted by serikzhanov20 on

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task achievement
Expand on specific examples to support arguments, such as including data or case studies to illustrate the impact of adult literacy programs or education initiatives for the youth.
task achievement
Work on making your ideas more comprehensive by elaborating on them and ensuring each point is linked aptly to the argument.
coherence cohesion
Use more precise vocabulary to avoid misunderstandings. For example, replace vague terms like 'politics' with 'government policies.'
coherence cohesion
Refine the language for clarity and grammatical accuracy, such as using 'country' instead of 'countrified' and 'rural' instead of 'agrarian'.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a balanced view on the topic.
task achievement
The argument acknowledges the importance of education for both adults and young people, highlighting the relevance of equal investment.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • literacy programs
  • functional illiteracy
  • social mobility
  • inter-generational poverty
  • workforce development
  • economic growth
  • social cohesion
  • public health
  • civic participation
  • resource allocation
  • national development
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