Some people say that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing are more beneficial to children and therefore they need more of these subjects to be included in the timetable. Do you agree or disagree?Some people say that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing are more beneficial to children and therefore they need more of these subjects to be included in the timetable. Do you agree or disagree?

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There is no denying the fact that education is
significant
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a significant
show examples
thing to improve
owr socity
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our society
.
While
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it is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
commonly held
believe
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belief
show examples
that
Use synonyms
sudjects
Correct your spelling
subjects
such
Linking Words
as art,
mudic
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music
, drama and creative
write
Replace the word
writing
show examples
are more
denefist
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benefits
to kids and
therfore
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therefore
they need to allocate more time
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
Use synonyms
sudjects
Correct your spelling
subject
subjects
in the timetable, there is
also
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an argument that opposes it, In my opinion, I consider that all
Use synonyms
sudjects
Correct your spelling
subjects
are equally
essintial
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essential
.
To begin
Linking Words
with, schools must
be ensure
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be ensured
show examples
to teach all
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sudjects
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subjects
to
childrne
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children
to
improving
Wrong verb form
improve
show examples
there
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their
show examples
various
skils
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skills
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
, they need to enhance
there
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their
show examples
sklis
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skills
skis
in
accouting
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accounting
, reading and
exploration
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exploring
show examples
things through different
typ
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types
of
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sudjects
Correct your spelling
subjects
such
Linking Words
as math,
scince
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science
and technology .
In addition
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, they will
able
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be able
show examples
to
take
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make
show examples
good choices and best
memburs
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members
in
owr communties
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our communities
.
For example
Linking Words
, a study conducted in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
shows that all
sudjectes
Correct your spelling
subjects
play
crucial
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a crucial
show examples
role in
studinsts
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students
personality
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personalities
show examples
. Another point to consider, they will
able
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be able
show examples
to recognize
ther
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their
passions, which lead them to
there
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their
show examples
futuer jops
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future jobs
.It is
also
Linking Words
possibal
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possible
to say that all
succeus
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success
person
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people
show examples
in
diversity
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diverse
show examples
fields
explor
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explore
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
prefer
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preferred
show examples
Use synonyms
sudjects
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subjects
when his
yong
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young
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they will
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
to enhance
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
talent in various
fieldes
Correct your spelling
fields
creating solutions that help
ther
Correct your spelling
other
their
countries.
For instance
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, during Covid 19-pandemic some
of
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apply
show examples
Add an article
the scientist
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scientist
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scientists
show examples
from different countries
collabreating
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collaborating
togther
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together
for
innovintion
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innovation
a treatment
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
vairus
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virus
. In conclusion,
despit
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despite
people having different views, I believe that we
shuold
Correct your spelling
should
to
foucas
Correct your spelling
focus
to learning our new generation all
typs
Correct your spelling
types
of
Use synonyms
sudjects
Correct your spelling
subjects
.
Submitted by mnm_234 on

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coherence cohesion
Focus on organizing ideas more logically within paragraphs to improve coherence. Consider using linking words or phrases more effectively.
task achievement
Improve the clarity and depth of your ideas. Try to develop arguments more fully and provide more detailed explanations and examples.
introduction conclusion present
The essay introduces a balanced view on the topic and concludes with a clear opinion, showing both sides of the argument.
relevant specific examples
Attempts to provide specific examples, such as the UK study and collaboration during Covid-19, which is a positive step towards supporting main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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