TOPIC: More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think is a possible solution?
There are a tremendous amount of people purchasing
cars
for Use synonyms
their
first time, and that Change the word
the
cused
a lot of Correct your spelling
caused
problems
in developed Use synonyms
countries
, Use synonyms
such
as environmental Linking Words
pullution
and traffic congestion, Correct your spelling
pollution
Linking Words
however
there are possible solutions to solve these Add the comma(s)
however,
problems
, and Use synonyms
this
essay will provide reflections Linking Words
for
solving these issues.
First and Change preposition
on
for most
, most Correct your spelling
foremost
deveolped
Correct your spelling
developed
countries
have overpopulation, and that Use synonyms
incerases
the number of Correct your spelling
increases
indivduals
on buying new Correct your spelling
individuals
cars
in Use synonyms
whelthy
Correct your spelling
wealthy
countries
, and that lead Use synonyms
for
several Change preposition
to
problems
. Use synonyms
Firstly
, Linking Words
enverionmental pullution
, which is when the number of Correct your spelling
environmental pollution
cars
Use synonyms
increses
in the country, the percentage of Correct your spelling
increases
corban
dioxide that Correct your spelling
carbon
Add a missing verb
is emited
emited
from these Correct your spelling
emitted
vehicals
will cause a Correct your spelling
vehicles
pulluted
atmosphere that contributes Correct your spelling
polluted
for
respiratory Change preposition
to
problems
for the people . So it is better for the Use synonyms
govranments
to put taxes on Correct your spelling
governments
government
using
Change the form of the verb
used
cars
, so they can rid off from Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
corbon
dioxide Correct your spelling
carbon
emission
.
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
Secondly
, traffic congestion, which causes more Linking Words
cars
on the roads Use synonyms
that
will Correct pronoun usage
apply
low
the Wrong verb form
lower
qulity
of living, and will put Correct your spelling
quality
the
people in a stressful situation, in Correct article usage
apply
addtion
to that cummting will be Correct your spelling
addition
difficualt
and the time of the Correct your spelling
difficult
distanation
will take longer as well. I think the only Correct your spelling
destination
sloution
for Correct your spelling
solution
this
case, is to restrict the number of purchasing Linking Words
cars
for Use synonyms
the
individuals and will be merely one car for one household.
Eventually, having more Correct article usage
apply
cars
in the country is not only leading to these Use synonyms
problems
, Use synonyms
it might
cause more than that, Add the word(s)
but it might also
Linking Words
however
developed Add a comma
however,
countries
should put Use synonyms
restirctions
on Correct your spelling
restrictions
burchasing
new Correct your spelling
purchasing
cars
for Use synonyms
the
individuals.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by mohnnad.als on
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Task Achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the scene, but it might be clearer if it more directly addressed the problems and solutions related to car ownership in developing countries, rather than developed ones.
Task Achievement
The essay could benefit from more specific examples, like statistical evidence or real-world instances, to support your arguments
Task Achievement
Your main points, like environmental pollution and traffic congestion, are relevant, but they could be presented with a clearer structure and more depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical flow by ensuring each paragraph is more focused and by connecting your ideas more clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider rephrasing complex sentences for clarity and check for vocabulary and grammatical errors to enhance understanding.
Task Achievement
You've identified relevant issues such as environmental pollution and traffic congestion, which are pertinent to the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps frame your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.