IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Here’s a sample General Training question: Question: Some people believe that it is better to live in a small town, while others think that living in a big city is more beneficial. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#here’s #sample #people #town #city
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A large number of people assert that
suburb
Fix the agreement mistake
suburbs
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has
Verb problem
are
show examples
 the better choice for residing. Others,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
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 are adamant
opponent
Fix the agreement mistake
opponents
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 of the same view claiming that urban
areas
Use synonyms
 have more benefits for settling. I strongly agree with the latter view as major cities have
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
 range of work opportunities with advanced
facilities
Use synonyms
.
However
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,
minimal
Correct article usage
the minimal
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 pros of small
areas
Use synonyms
 are lower pollution levels and a person can build more healthy relationships.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, many people said that residing in
small
Add an article
a small
the small
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 town has many benefits.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 level is low as compared to other
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
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 because
population
Add an article
the population
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 is so
minimum
Correct word choice
minimal
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 in
such
Linking Words
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of
areas
Use synonyms
 which can prevent many breathing diseases
such
Linking Words
 as asthma.
Secondly
Linking Words
, traffic congestion is
also
Linking Words
 poor as compared to metropolitan
areas
Use synonyms
 so these
areas
Use synonyms
offered
Wrong verb form
offer
show examples
 better air quality with minimal noise pollution.
For example
Linking Words
, Ajax
city
Capitalize word
City
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 has always good air quality index as compared to
Toronto
Correct article usage
the Toronto
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 area.
Additionally
Linking Words
, a person in these
areas
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 free from
hustle
Add an article
the hustle
show examples
 of the cities, and they have more time to build meaningful relations which can help them in many ways
such
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 as
to spend
Change the verb form
spending
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 time and
avoid
Wrong verb form
avoiding
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 depression and anxiety,
also
Linking Words
 to
celebrate
Wrong verb form
celebrating
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 the festivals together.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, critics argued that bigger
areas
Use synonyms
 have better work opportunities. To start with, urban
areas
Use synonyms
 have more options for work, and their job market
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 varied as compared to the first option,
this
Linking Words
 setting offered more
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
 with
best
Correct article usage
the best
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 job vacancies.
For instance
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Toronto city contains almost all big pharmaceutical industries like Pfizer,
Boehringer
Correct word choice
and Boehringer
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pharmaceutical
Fix the agreement mistake
Pharmaceuticals
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 as compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Port
hope
Capitalize word
Hope
show examples
 town.
Besides
Linking Words
,
largest
Correct article usage
the largest
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areas
Use synonyms
 have advanced
facilities
Use synonyms
 in each sector like in education sector,
medical
Correct word choice
and medical
show examples
facilities
Use synonyms
, and they offer great public transportation. So
this
Linking Words
 is the easy option for living.
To conclude
Linking Words
, both options have their own merits and demerits for inhabiting. I personally believe that urban cities are
perfect
Add an article
the perfect
a perfect
show examples
 choice for settling as they offer good wages, job opportunities and advanced living
facilities
Use synonyms
 in every sector.
However
Linking Words
, lower pollution levels and good relationships are major advantages of small towns which can not be ignored.
Submitted by priyankapanwar251287 on

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general
Try to be more precise with your language to increase clarity and effectiveness of communication.
task response
Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction that explicitly states your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each argument is clearly connected to the respective view you are discussing for better coherence.
task response
You have provided relevant examples, such as the comparison between Ajax and Toronto.
coherence and cohesion
You have included an introduction and conclusion, which encapsulate your main arguments.
task response
Your essay presents both views, making it a balanced discussion.
What to do next:
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