Children today playbvery violent games.This must be the reasin for the increse in violence and crime in the most major cities of the world.What your opinions on this?

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Games

Use synonyms

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

been a part of

Correct article usage

the lifes

show examples

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

life

of many

people

Use synonyms

around the world. It is where many relieve their stress from work and daily lives. Nowadays,

people

Use synonyms

of different age groups

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

play and interact

inside

Change preposition

with

show examples

the game they are playing

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

could result

Change preposition

show examples

many different

aspect

Change to a plural noun

aspects

show examples

. In my opinion,

this

Linking Words

could be a result of the influence of family on how they tolerate

children

Use synonyms

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

in playing

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

games

Use synonyms

Children

Use synonyms

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

tendencies to mimic what they see and hear in the

games

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they play. In their age, copying their favorite character, or even their own avatar would mean a lot of behavioural changes to the

children

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Also

Linking Words

, as I have said above,

Games

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have evolved so much that

people

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can interact online, speak to each other, play together and even finish tasks or

so called

Add a hyphen

so-called

show examples

quests in

games

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. I think with

this

Linking Words

capability,

Children

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could be influenced by their playmates on how they behave not only in the game but

also

Linking Words

inside the house.

Linking Words

This

Correct determiner usage

These

show examples

behavioral

Change the spelling

behavioural

show examples

changes from mimicry and influence could be a big factor

Change preposition

show examples

the child's thinking and comprehension. If they were told that the game is real, or their playmates pushed them to do something bad or negative to themselves or the

people

Use synonyms

sorrounding

Correct your spelling

surrounding

them; and if they believe in

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

aspects.

Then

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

could be carried over to the

children

Use synonyms

's growth and might result

Change preposition

show examples

violence inside the home and crime to the society. But still, I know

family

Add an article

the family

show examples

would have a great factor

Change preposition

show examples

controlling and changing

this

Linking Words

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

, constant monitoring, proper guidance and thorough care with extra love would make things change.

rachelle.ann.roldanMon Jan 13 2025

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Task Achievement

Clarify and expand the main points with concrete examples or evidence. For instance, you mention the influence of family but do not provide specific examples of how this influence manifests.

Coherence and Cohesion

Develop a clearer conclusion that summarizes the key points and reiterates your opinion. This helps reinforce your arguments and improves coherence.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve sentence structure for readability, and make sure each sentence builds logically from the last. This will help create a smoother flow and better logical connections between ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay contains a clear introduction that sets the stage for your argument about the influence of video games on child behavior.

Task Achievement

You address multiple factors related to the issue, such as family influence and online interaction, showing a balanced view on a complex topic.

Task Achievement

You identify potential solutions and mitigating factors, like the role of family, demonstrating a thoughtful approach to the problem.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

271 words

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Children today playbvery violent games.This must be the reasin for the increse in violence and crime in the most major cities of the world.What your opinions on this?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries old people are highly valued and in other countries the young are considered to be more valuable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the only purpose of films is to entertain. Others say films should have educational value, discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might be the case? Do you think this is a positve or negative situation?

Some people believe that free housing should be provided by the government for the under-privileged and people who cannot afford to buy a house. To what extent do you agree or disagree.