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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below give information on the proportions of water which is used for various purposes in six countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the proportions of water which is used for various purposes in six countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #proportions #water #purposes #six #countries #summarise #features #comparisons
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The charts above illustrate the comparison of three different purposes
on
Change preposition
for
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 using water in six different countries.
Overall
Linking Words
, most of the countries are using water for
an
Remove the article
apply
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agricultural
use
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
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majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
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,
such
Linking Words
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
South
America
Use synonyms
, Africa,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Central
Asia
Use synonyms
, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
South East
Asia
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
While in
Correct word choice
In
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 Europe and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
North
America
Use synonyms
, most of the water
function
Fix the agreement mistake
functions
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in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 industrial
use
Use synonyms
. To start with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 held the biggest percentage
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 agricultural
use
Use synonyms
 at 88 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
 followed by Africa, the South East
Asia
Use synonyms
, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
South
America
Use synonyms
 at 84 per
cent
Use synonyms
, 81 per
cent
Use synonyms
, and 71 per
cent
Use synonyms
. The two lowest in agriculture
use
Use synonyms
 are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
North
America
Use synonyms
 and Europe at 38 and 32 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in Europe and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
North
America
Use synonyms
, industrial
use
Use synonyms
 is dominating at 53 and 48 per
cent
Use synonyms
. The industrial
use
Use synonyms
 usually comes second in place, except in the Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 and Africa. Where domestic
use
Use synonyms
 held the second highest at 7 and 9 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by iigness05 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words use, america, asia, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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