IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people love meeting others online. Others feel that friends on the internet are not as real or as close as when people know each other in person. Can online friends be as important as face-to-face friendships? Discuss your ideas and support them with reasons and examples.

#people #love #friends #internet #person #friendships #support
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Ever since the great advances in media technologies making friends on
these
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apply
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platforms
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such
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 as, Facebook, Instagram and X previously known as Twitter has become rather commonplace and certain
people
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 enjoy utilizing these
platforms
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while
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 others believe that they can never be so
geniune
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genuine
 as
face to face
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face-to-face
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 interaction. Can it be as effective as meeting each other in person? I am not at all against the idea
,
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apply
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 but in favour of the latter opinion.
To begin
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 with,
firstly
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 because of
the
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apply
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human nature, anything that we cannot touch or feel in person does not sound so real,
therefore
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, for some
people
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 making or meeting individuals online is not preferable, another point is there are a number of
people
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 who use these applications have only intention to harm others in order to gain something;
for example
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, when a man or a woman looking for a partner might be deceived
easly
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easily
 into a trap by individuals who use fake identification.
Furthermore
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, on social media
unfortanetly
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unfortunately
, bullying and abusing each other has become quite widespread, and
thus
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people
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 who become
victim
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victims
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 of abuse or bullying suffer from mental problems and even in some cases it may lead to suicide.
On the other hand
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,
however
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, social media
platforms
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 where folks can form
friendship
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friendships
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 or
relationship
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relationships
show examples
,
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apply
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 could be
a
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an
show examples
 efficient place to make friends, find partners
as well as
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to
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apply
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learn about other cultures.
Secondly
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, when someone interacts with individuals from another nation or tradition, it enables
people
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 to
tolarate
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tolerate
 others more,
as a result
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 understanding other
socities
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societies
 may halt the
diffirences
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differences
difference
 between communities.
To conclude
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, even though communicating with and making friends online has a few merits
according to
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 some
people
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, in my opinion,
however
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, meeting folks in person has much better advantages which
are greatly outnumber
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greatly outnumber
show examples
 the benefits of interacting
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people
Change preposition
with people
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online
Change preposition
on online
show examples
platforms
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by duygulaleoglu on

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task achievement
Ensure all main ideas are relevant to the task and fully support your argument.
task achievement
Include more concrete examples to illustrate your points and arguments.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical flow between paragraphs to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Good introduction and conclusion that convey the main stance.
task achievement
Relevant discussion of both viewpoints on online friendships.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Geographical locations
  • Cultural backgrounds
  • Emotional support
  • Sense of community
  • Niche interests
  • Emotional depth
  • Trust
  • Anonymity
  • Non-verbal cues
  • Body language
  • Facial expressions
  • Misunderstandings
  • Time zone differences
  • Physical presence
  • Loneliness
  • Detachment
  • Blended friendships
  • Social media
  • Online forums
  • Digital interaction
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