IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #reason #language #travel #work #country #someone
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 learn foreign
Use synonyms
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 for travel or with a working purpose, but, there are other motivations
such
Linking Words
 as culture and history, that are
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
revelant
Correct your spelling
relevant
 reasons for learning a new
language
Use synonyms
. In my opinion,
people
Use synonyms
 should take them into account in order to learn a foreign
language
Use synonyms
. On one hand, a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the only reason for learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 is to travel or work in a different country. Indeed, companies publish their work offers online and many
people
Use synonyms
 can get access to them and apply.
For instance
Linking Words
, in software development, there a many companies,
such
Linking Words
 as Google, Facebook or Amazon, that offer remote working but it requires
to
Correct pronoun usage
one to
show examples
 speak English. Because of that, many
people
Use synonyms
learns
Change the verb form
learn
show examples
 English with the purpose of a better job.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are other motivations to learn a new
language
Use synonyms
,
for instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 could feel curious and interested in a foreign culture. So, with the Internet,
people
Use synonyms
 connect with others to practice their new
language
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 to know more about a different culture, their history and traditions. In my opinion, being able to connect,
share
Correct word choice
and share
show examples
experiencies
Correct your spelling
experiences
 and customs
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
also
Linking Words
 an important motivation for many
people
Use synonyms
, even
Correct word choice
if
show examples
so
Add the comma(s)
so,
show examples
 they are not interested in
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, many young
people
Use synonyms
 are interested in Asia because of its musical groups, series and movies. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they do not have enough money to travel or do not want to work there, they are learning languages
such
Linking Words
 as Japanese. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 can learn a new
language
Use synonyms
 only with the purpose of getting more opportunities in their job, like a better salary, or just because they want to visit a new country. But,
people
Use synonyms
 should learn a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 because they want to learn more about the differences between each country and their customs.
Submitted by mabetancurgu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

improve-coherence
To enhance coherence, try using transition words more frequently to link ideas between sentences and paragraphs. For example, use words like 'moreover,' 'consequently,' and 'alternatively.'
improve-task-achievement
Expand on the examples and explanations in each paragraph to further develop the main ideas and arguments. This will improve the depth and clarity of your essay.
task-achievement
The essay addresses both views and presents a clear opinion, demonstrating a well-balanced approach to the task.
coherence-cohesion
The introductory and concluding paragraphs effectively frame the discussion, providing a clear start and end to your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • multilingual
  • linguistic proficiency
  • globalized world
  • cross-cultural communication
  • immersive experience
  • adaptability
  • cultural exchange
  • interpersonal skills
  • employment prospects
  • empathy
  • intellectual development
  • overcome language barriers
  • global market
  • resourceful
  • life-changing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: