IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below gives information on the number of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbrune , Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

The graph below gives information on the number of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbrune , Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
#information #participants #activities #centre #melbrune #australia #period
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The given graph shows information about the
number
Use synonyms
 of participants in five social activities in Melbourne, Australia, over a 20-year
period
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay will describe and compare the participation trends in these activities.
Overall
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, the
number
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 of members in the film club increased steadily and remained at a high level throughout the
period
Use synonyms
 from 2000 to 2020.
In contrast
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, it is worth noting that the
number
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 of participants in the drama club decreased significantly, dropping from 30 to just 5. Focusing on significant changes, the
number
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 of martial arts fans fluctuated between 32 and 40 during
this
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 20-year
period
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.
Additionally
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, the
number
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 of tennis enthusiasts increased by almost 1.5 times over the same
period
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. Looking at other notable changes, the music performance club was established in 2005, and its membership grew dramatically.
For example
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, the
number
Use synonyms
 of members rose from zero to 15, showing a rapid increase in popularity.
Submitted by ken.aizhan on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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