Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smart phone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #part #time #phone #development

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There is no doubt that these days people spend their free time using smartphones. The question is why? In

this

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essay, I'm going to give some reasons for

this

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phenomenon.

Initially

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, Technology has taken over the majority of life's perspectives either in health, education or entertainment. First, it provides easy and smooth access to activities.

Second,

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it serves as a primary tool for communication which allows people to stay connected with friends, family and colleagues through video calls, texts and social media.

Third,

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it offers access to information and knowledge within seconds

thus

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enabling individuals to learn, explore and read during their free time. The impact of technology is both positive and negative. On the positive side, it enhances connectivity and encourages learning.

However

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, excessive use of devices can lead to negative consequences

such

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as poor posture, and reduced reality interactions and may contribute to mental health

such

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as anxiety. In conclusion, the use of smartphones is a must but it is essential to strike a balance between virtual and real-world experiences to avoid unwanted consequences in the future.

Submitted by aldana.alshaloob on Tue Jan 14 2025

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, consider providing clearer connections between ideas and expanding on transitions between paragraphs.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to fully support your points. This will enhance the depth and clarity of your argument.

coherence cohesion

Be mindful of repetition, especially in terms of structure, to keep the writing engaging and dynamic.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion.

task achievement

The task is generally addressed well with relevant points on why people use smartphones and the impact of such usage.

task achievement

The essay's ideas are quite clear and straightforward, making it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

179 words

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Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smart phone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some infomation is too important or too valueable to be shared freely.

Traditional schooling is out of date, boring and stifles a child’s natural talents, various professionals have pushed for an education revolution. Are there alternatives in the education system? Is traditional education doing more harm than good?

It is impossible to help all the people in the world who are in need, so governments should focus on people from their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people think cheaper air travel should be encouraged because it gives ordinary people to travel further. However, others think this leads to environmental problems, so air travel should be more expansive in order to discourage people to have it. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.