These days mobile phone and internet are very important to way in which people can relate to one another socially. Do advantages of this development out with the disadvantages

#phone #internet #people #development

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In our rapidly evolving

world

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world,

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there are various

medium

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mediums

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through which

people

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get in touch with each other. I believe there are significant benefits of mobile phones and the

internet

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with only a few minor drawbacks. Through mobile phones and

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

the internet

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Add a comma

internet,

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internet

Capitalize word

Internet

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people

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get in touch with

other

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another person

other people

show examples

person

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. There are various

medium

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mediums

show examples

like messenger,

Correct word choice

and WhatsApp

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through which

people

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get to know another

person

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other part

Change the wording

another part

other parts

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of the world.

Additionally

Linking Words

, it helps to reduce the distance by connecting two

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person

Change to a plural noun

people

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although

Linking Words

being

Verb problem

they are

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far from each other.

For example

Linking Words

: most

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apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Nepalese students are in different parts of the world and thanks to all those

source

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sources

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of connection their parents

could

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can

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easily get in touch with them.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there is a

down side

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downside

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use

Wrong verb form

using

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various gadgets and

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internet

Correct article usage

the internet

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as the

case

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cases

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of digital theft

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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rising. Digital

thefts

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thieves

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tries

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try

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to reach to

person

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through various

medium

Fix the agreement mistake

mediums

show examples

like WhatsApp and give various

offer

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offers

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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individuals.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, if the

people

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are greedy they will accept their offer and

those

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

the process of

demanding

Wrong verb form

demand

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starts.

Firstly

Linking Words

, they ask for few

money

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taking their prize is

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show examples

the airport so to delivered

you

Correct pronoun usage

it you

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have to send

money

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This

Linking Words

process

continue

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continues

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until

thief

Correct article usage

the thief

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gets

Verb problem

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satisfied and

take

Correct subject-verb agreement

takes

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out the

money

Use synonyms

that he or

Correct your spelling

she

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

thought of.

For instance

Linking Words

: many

people

Use synonyms

are receiving WhatsApp

message

Fix the agreement mistake

messages

show examples

stating they have received a gift so to collect it call back. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

, there are some

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

using

Wrong verb form

use

show examples

mobile phones and the

internet

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Correct word choice

apply

show examples

through digital theft

money

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can be gone. The advantages of it are more powerful as we will always have a feeling of being with the

person

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all though they are physically away from us.

Submitted by anjubashyal39 on Tue Jan 14 2025

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Coherence & Cohesion

Work on structuring paragraphs better, ensuring each one contains a clear main idea and additional supporting details.

Coherence & Cohesion

Try to provide clearer topic sentences and ensure that each paragraph fully supports and develops one main idea.

Task Achievement

Provide more diverse and detailed examples to illustrate your points and enhance your argument.

Task Achievement

Try to further develop the ideas presented in the body paragraphs to make them more comprehensive and detailed.

Coherence & Cohesion

The introduction is concise and clearly states the main argument, giving a good overview of what to expect in the essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay, reinforcing the writer's viewpoint.

Task Achievement

The essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear stance on the topic, maintaining focus throughout.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

instantaneous
digital communication
geographical barriers
social networking
face-to-face interactions
overdependence
privacy concerns
cyberbullying
online communities
unparalleled access

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These days mobile phone and internet are very important to way in which people can relate to one another socially. Do advantages of this development out with the disadvantages

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

People think that the news media has influenced people’s lives nowadays and it is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people are of the opinion that long prison sentence reduces crime rate, while other believe other alternatives should be explored. Discuss birth views and give your opinion.

recently, Australian children became fat. people claim it is schools responsibility to look after children health and exercise time. To what extent do you agree or disagree??