IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or a negative development?

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Our world is rapidly developing and now many people interact with each other
additionally
Linking Words
 because of
technology
Use synonyms
. Some people think that it is bad because
technology
Use synonyms
 has a bad influence on society,
while
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 the rest think that it is
a
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apply
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good and positive that there is
finally
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 a good solution for close people who are far apart.           
To begin
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with
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with,
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 it gives toddlers and adults problems with communication.
For
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instance
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instance,
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 by using
technology
Use synonyms
 we
does
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do
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 not always mean doing something essential, like a lot of kids
doing
Wrong verb form
do
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 nowadays.
Instead
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 of going and
play
Wrong verb form
playing
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 or
discuss
Wrong verb form
discussing
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 something , they can play computer games or chat with each other.
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However
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However,
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 in their
age
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age,
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 it is significantly important to talk to the
same aged
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same-aged
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 kids considering that they
our
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the
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 next generation. Adults may not even live
their
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in their
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 own house to talk to their friends , or to pay the utility bills. they do not need to
live
Correct your spelling
leave
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 their house because everything they have to do
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is just press the buttons,
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however
Add a comma
however,
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 it is bad for their health not to move and breathe the fresh air.       From
different
Add an article
a different
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 point of
view
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view,
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 the existence of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology
Use synonyms
 solved a lot of problems
,
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apply
show examples
and made our lives much
more
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apply
show examples
easier.
For
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instance
Add a comma
instance,
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 if you and
person
Correct article usage
the person
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 who you are close
with
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to
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 is currently not in your country, you miss him so much and would like to talk and see him. In
this
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case
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case,
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 you are free to do so because we have video calls, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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also
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 linked to
innovative
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the innovative
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 world. 
Couple
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A couple
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 of years ago students had to spend a lot of time sitting in the library and doing their homework in case they
don’t
Wrong verb form
didn’t
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 understand,
however
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 now they may watch additional types of video explanations on
the
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apply
show examples
Youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
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.        From my perspective
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern innovation
are
Change the verb form
is
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 significantly helpful because it makes our lives way more easier. We definitely don’t have to forget about our wellness and communication skills ,
however
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 I’m so glad that
technology
Use synonyms
 exists.

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task achievement
Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your main ideas, which would enhance the clarity of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your paragraphs more logically, ensuring that each paragraph clearly supports the central thesis and flows seamlessly to the next.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discourse by acknowledging both positive and negative impacts of technology on social interactions.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets up the topic and the central theme of the essay, which is maintained throughout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • technology
  • interact
  • relationships
  • connectivity
  • communication
  • online
  • face-to-face
  • friendships
  • romantic relationships
  • family dynamics
  • positive
  • negative
  • development
  • effects
  • formation
  • ease
  • impacts
  • communities
  • connect
  • interaction
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