Some people think a high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while others argue that a good working atmosphere is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

era, having a job becomes an essential basic for every
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual

The singular quantifier every is followed by the plural noun individuals. Consider changing the noun to the singular or using a different quantifier.

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. More and more
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

selecting a company to
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for in it because of the high
salary
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Others
Correct quantifier usage
Other

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

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persons believe that a nice working environment is more important than others view. Personally,
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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think that both ideas are equally interesting. On the one hand, it is believed by some
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that
get
Wrong verb form
getting

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb get. Consider changing it.

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a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun money in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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high money is
more
Change the word
apply

The double comparative more better may be repetitive. Consider changing this to the appropriate comparative form.

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better than
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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air
working
Replace the word
work

The word working doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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. In fact, most employees
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in hard environments to get
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

salary
Add an article
a salary

The noun phrase salary seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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,so no matter
for
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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if the air is boring or noisy.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they prefer to
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for
long
Change the article
a long

It appears that the phrase long time may not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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time even if they are tired or
un relaxed
Correct your spelling
unrelaxed

The word un relaxed seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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because the money will give them what they ever want. For
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example

It seems that examples may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, after that anxiety atmosphere
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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money will bring happiness to those
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

by providing essential needs like food, clothes, and a dream home.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in
there
Replace the word
their

The word there may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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perspective's
Unnecessary verb
perspective

The verb 's appears to be unnecessary here.

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the rise
of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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salary
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is more important.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are some
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who
in
Add a missing verb
are in

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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love with the idea of working in
atmosphere
Add an article
an atmosphere

The noun phrase atmosphere seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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which makes them
to
Change the verb form
apply

It appears that the verb to feel should be in the bare infinitive form. Consider removing to from in front of this verb.

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feel good.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
good
Correct article usage
a good

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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environment can help the employees to achieve and finish their tasks in
short
Add an article
a short

The noun phrase short time seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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time. What I mean,
if
Add a missing verb
is if

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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the
managers
Fix the agreement mistake
manager

It seems that managers may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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is always angry and
shout
Correct subject-verb agreement
shouts

It seems that the verb shout does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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in front of his employees so, the air will be full of anxiety and feeling bad which makes their minds
losses
Replace the word
lose

The word losses doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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. Maybe they
thinks
Change the verb form
think

It appears that the subject pronoun they and the verb thinks are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

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about different things
have
Verb problem
that are

There may be a verb use issue here.

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not related to
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. A study published in New York in 2013, concluded that 90% of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in a
relax
Replace the word
relaxed

The word relax doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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place are more likely to
happy
Add a missing verb
be happy

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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and givers in their job. In Conclusion, a lot of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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believe that the
roses
Change noun form
rose's
roses'

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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salary
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is more
much
Fix the agreement mistake
apply

It seems that much may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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important than
others
Correct quantifier usage
other

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

show examples
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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perspective which
is argue
Change the verb form
argues

It appears that the form of the verb argue does not work with is in this sentence.

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that
the a
Choose an article
the
a

It appears that you have an extra article in this sentence. Consider deleting the or a.

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nice place is more important than. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In my opinion. Consider adding a comma.

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I believe that both views have it is bright side and it is dark side.

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coherence cohesion
Work on maintaining a clear and logical structure throughout the essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main point and supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Try using more cohesive devices like transition words and phrases to link sentences and paragraphs effectively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all main points are well-supported with specific examples or explanations.
task achievement
Stick to one idea per paragraph and explore it fully before moving to the next.
task achievement
Make sure to use specific examples that enhance your points and relate to your personal experience or wider knowledge.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which is essential for good structure.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the task.
task achievement
It is positive that you included a study example, which adds credibility to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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