IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Majore of children raisd by their grandparents due to parents in their working

There is no denying the fact that
chlidren
Correct your spelling
children
 cared for and are raised is a significant factor in making good members in society.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that most
of
Change preposition
apply
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children are raised by their
grandparents
Use synonyms
 because of the fact that their
parents
Use synonyms
 are always busy
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their jobs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in the current economic change, both apply
parents
Use synonyms
 working to earn more
monye
Correct your spelling
money
,
in other words
Linking Words
, both apply
mother
Add the particle
to mother
show examples
 and father working hard to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
apply
Add the particle
apply to
show examples
 ensure their
chlidren
Correct your spelling
children
 can
raised
Change the verb form
raise
be raised
show examples
 in
graet
Correct your spelling
great
cuircumstances
Correct your spelling
circumstances
.
In addition
Linking Words
, everyone needs funds to buy
home
Correct article usage
a home
show examples
 or car and
also
Linking Words
 be in
save
Replace the word
safe
show examples
 side in emergency conditions.
For example
Linking Words
, the survey in 2023 shows
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the increase in
families
Change noun form
families'
family's
show examples
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 financial resources. Another point to consider is
grandparents
Use synonyms
 in
differernt
Correct your spelling
different
 conditions help
parents
Use synonyms
of raised
Change preposition
raise
show examples
 their grandchildren. It is
also
Linking Words
possibal
Correct your spelling
possible
 to say that they can allocate all day to teach kids good values
such
Linking Words
 as responsibility, confidence, loyalty and honesty.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
grandparents
Use synonyms
,
apply
Verb problem
apply
show examples
no doubt
encourags
Correct your spelling
encourages
encourage
 their children to enhance their career jobs.
For instance
Linking Words
, a study in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Sudan shows that 91%of kids learn crucial morels from their grandpas. In conclusion,despite people having different views, I believe that
although
Linking Words
 there
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a many positive sides of raising
chlidren
Correct your spelling
children
 by their
grandparents
Use synonyms
,
parents
Use synonyms
 should be taking care of their kids.

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task achievement
Work on sentence structure and vocabulary use to ensure clarity and precision in your writing.
task achievement
Develop ideas more fully by providing in-depth explanations and examples.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow between ideas and paragraphs to enhance readability.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively addressing the main topic.
task achievement
Good attempt to address both sides of the issue, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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