The international community must act immediately to ensure that all countries reduce the consumption of fossil fuels (e.g. gas and oil). To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is an undeniable topic that fossil
fuels
consumption has become a concern for Change the noun form
fuel
international
community. Some people argue that it is quite impossible to reduce the addiction Add an article
the international
of
fossil Change preposition
to
fuels
usage. Change the noun form
fuel
However
, others think there are many drawbacks for the environment and health. I strongly agree with Linking Words
this
statement because the result Linking Words
from
Change preposition
of
climate
crisis has Correct article usage
the climate
becoming
a reality.
Change the verb form
become
Human
population has lived years with goods that utilise Correct article usage
The human
oil
and gas. Use synonyms
For instance
, in Indonesia, most population rely heavily on non-electric Linking Words
transportations
. The shift will be very expensive and hard for the Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
citizen
. Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
Secondly
, some countries' power Linking Words
plant
are not environmentally friendly, Fix the agreement mistake
plants
thus
, it requires Linking Words
huge
amount of money to create new power Add an article
a huge
plant
.
Fix the agreement mistake
plants
On the other hand
, the dependency on Linking Words
oil
and gas Use synonyms
are
undeniably a ticking bomb for every soul and the planet itself. One of the impacts is massive climate change events Change the verb form
is
have
disrupted human lives. Correct pronoun usage
that have
For example
, flood is a yearly event in Indonesia Linking Words
due to
global warming and bad infrastructure. Linking Words
Moreover
, pollution is the result Linking Words
from
transportations that use Change preposition
of
oil
. These cases impact humans' health Use synonyms
such
as lung cancer and influenza.
Linking Words
To conclude
, I agree with the statement that the Linking Words
depedency
Correct your spelling
dependence
with
Change preposition
on
oil
and gas can Use synonyms
have
result in so Unnecessary verb
apply
much
more drawbacks for the society and planet.Fix the agreement mistake
many
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introduction
Clarify the introduction by clearly stating your stance on the issue. Your essay begins with a slightly ambiguous tone before confirming agreement, which could be more direct for clarity.
development
While your ideas are good, try to develop them with more depth and detail. Offer more specific examples and elaborate on them to strengthen your points.
logical structure coherence
Ensure each paragraph has a clear, distinct function and follows logically from the previous one. Consider adding linking words for seamless transition.
introduction conclusion
You have clearly stated your stance on the issue, and your conclusion aligns well with your introduction in terms of the position you take.
task response
The essay demonstrates an awareness of the complexity of the issue, acknowledging both the challenges and the need for action.
supported main points
Key points about the environmental and health impacts of fossil fuel usage are mentioned, reflecting an understanding of the broader topic.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.