People doing dangerous sports like bungee jumping and scuba diving should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their live people. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #sports #bungee #scuba #life #rescue #workers #risk

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In my opinion, of course, the people who love taking part in activities of high risks should take responsibility for their choices.

However

Linking Words

rescue

Use synonyms

workers are still very necessary and offer needed assistance to those in danger. Extreme sports has become a quite mature industry in many countries which attracts millions of visitors each year. And

rescue

Use synonyms

team

Use synonyms

is an essential part of

this

Linking Words

industry which greatly

improve

Correct subject-verb agreement

improves

show examples

the sense of safety in

travllers'

Correct your spelling

travellers'

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

Firstly

Linking Words

, bungee lovers and scuba divers must take any possible results of participating

Linking Words

such

Change preposition

in such

show examples

dangerous sports, including getting injured and even losing lives

. .

Replace the punctuation

...

show examples

Though there

Correct word choice

There

show examples

have been plenty of reports of

casualty

Fix the agreement mistake

casualties

show examples

happening during extreme events which claimed

lives

Correct article usage

the lives

show examples

of hundreds annually,

Change preposition

while

show examples

mountain climbing. And it is common sense among these sports fans.

Then

Linking Words

it is usually known by these climbers who must take enough caution and training to avoid similar disasters from happening.

As a result

Linking Words

, even

they

Correct word choice

if they

show examples

break their bones or meet

Use synonyms

others

Change noun form

others'

other's

show examples

threats, they should shoulder the possible outcomes,

instead

Linking Words

of blaming

others

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

rescue

Use synonyms

workers are still important in many ways. The most

initial

Correct word choice

important

show examples

one is that the emergency

team

Use synonyms

in special

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

ensures the security of these

sportmen

Correct your spelling

sportsmen

. If without

such

Linking Words

backup measurement, the tourists would choose somewhere else with

rescue

Use synonyms

members available. What is more,

although

Linking Words

the job of

getting

Verb problem

putting

show examples

others

Use synonyms

in danger is not easy, the

team

Use synonyms

is paid for their effort. Having a job means a lot for many tourist areas which

relies

Correct subject-verb agreement

rely

show examples

on tourism. By the way, the more dangerous the work is, the higher payment they will get. At

last

Linking Words

rescue

Use synonyms

members don't act alone and they have

others

Use synonyms

to support each other, which reduces negative effects to

minimum

Add an article

a minimum

show examples

. In conclusion, risky

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

lovers surely would bear the outcome themselves. And the establishment of

emergency

Add an article

the emergency

an emergency

show examples

team

Use synonyms

is necessary. Even

the

Correct word choice

if the

show examples

rescuing

Replace the word

rescue

show examples

work

is threatening

Wrong verb form

threatens

show examples

their lives to some

extend

Replace the word

extent

show examples

, they still get

financial

Add an article

a financial

show examples

reward

Fix the agreement mistake

rewards

show examples

in return.

Submitted by asllchkied on Wed Jan 15 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Make sure to provide more clear and comprehensive ideas, perhaps detailing more sides of the argument or explaining the reasons behind your opinions in depth.

task achievement

Incorporating more relevant and specific examples to support your points more effectively could help strengthen your response.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each point is well-supported with logical explanations or examples to improve idea development.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the argument.

task achievement

You addressed the prompt by expressing your opinion clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

323 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Internet has advantages and disadvantages.Do you agree or disagree?
Internet likes big library or enormous shopping mall. But it is on computer. Internet gives following opportunity. We share information by internet. In addition, we play a game and chatting with our friends on internet. Some benefits are given to people by internet. After internet appears, it is important part of our life. Nowadays people can not imagine their life without internet. Coz it is playing significant role in our works. Use to internet for only true goals.
4
band
Some people think that it is a good idea to socialize with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it is important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The discussion of utilizing weekends and evening after office is surely one that begs the question of how it could yield an outcome. In my opinion, due to rising conflicting ideas in an office and competition, asserting that separating the office life with social will be the most apropos choice.
9
band
Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The persistence of poverty worldwide has raised concerns about the effectiveness of financial aid. In my opinion, developed countries should utilize other non-monetary measures including educational opportunities to ensure the eradication of poverty.
5.5
band
In the modern world, many employees lack soft skill such as communication and working in the teams. What are the main causes of this problem? What are the effects of the lack of such skills ?
In this modern workplace, workers do not have adequate social skills, such as teamwork and communication. This challenge stems from the rapid in technological advancement that encourages independent work and this factor results in miscommunication and a decline teamwork effectiveness. This essay will elaborate more on the causes of this challenge and potential consequences if these soft skills are not addressed.
<4
band
Art classes, such as painting and drawing, as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Education is widely recognised as a crucial tool for personal and social development . Education is the most powerful asset of a person . To Fully develop one should ace the academic subjects as well as extra subjects like art , music , karate and many more . The assertion seems pretty controversial . So communities believe that subjects like art and music are necessary on the contrary other folks vehemently discord with the notion . In the succeeding monograph, I intend to delve into the pros and cons as well as proffer examples to justify my assistance.

People doing dangerous sports like bungee jumping and scuba diving should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their live people. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Internet has advantages and disadvantages.Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is a good idea to socialize with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it is important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the modern world, many employees lack soft skill such as communication and working in the teams. What are the main causes of this problem? What are the effects of the lack of such skills ?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?