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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #water #consumption #two #countries #features #comparisons
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The graph above illustrates the amount of global
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 distinguished by three different sectors in the years 1900 to 2000.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the table shows information about
water
Use synonyms
 consumption in Brazil and
Congo
Use synonyms
 in 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the graph shows that most of the
water
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 used in agriculture throughout the years.
Linking Words
While
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, the table implies that in 2000,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Brazilians
consumes
Wrong verb form
consumed
show examples
 more
water
Use synonyms
 than those who live in
Use synonyms
Congo
Correct article usage
the Congo
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, Agriculture remains the highest number since 1900. It started at approximately 500 cubic
Use synonyms
kilometer
Change to a plural noun
kilometers
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
, it
undergone
Add the auxiliary verb
underwent
has undergone
show examples
 a massive increase to around 3000 cubic
Use synonyms
kilometer
Change to a plural noun
kilometers
show examples
 in 2000.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, industrial
use
Use synonyms
 and domestic
use
Use synonyms
 started
similarly
Linking Words
 at around 0 in 1900. Afterwards, they were slowly increasing to 1200 cubic
Use synonyms
kilometer
Fix the agreement mistake
kilometers
show examples
 for industrial
use
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and 400 cubic
Use synonyms
kilometer
Change to a plural noun
kilometers
show examples
 for domestic
use
Use synonyms
. In terms of
water
Use synonyms
 consumption in 2000, the Brazilians with a higher population
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 176 million consumed 359 cubic
meter
Change to a plural noun
meters
show examples
 each. The amount of irrigated land was 26.500 cubic
Use synonyms
kilometer
Fix the agreement mistake
kilometers
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 in
Congo
Use synonyms
, people were consuming 8 cubic
meter
Change to a plural noun
meters
show examples
 of
water
Use synonyms
 each. The population in
Congo
Use synonyms
 was
also
Linking Words
 smaller at 5.2 million.
Submitted by iigness05 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, use, congo, kilometer with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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