Many people are afraid to leave their homes because of the fear of crime. Why do you think people are so fearful these days? Do the merits of such a cautions approach outweigh the demerits?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A significant number of
individuals
Use synonyms
are hesitant to venture out of their homes
due to
Linking Words
concern
Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
show examples
about criminal activity. I believe that the media plays a crucial role in shaping public perception of
crime
Use synonyms
. The
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more than the
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
being
alert
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
because it will increase personal safety and preparedness for
danger
Replace the word
dangerous
show examples
Use synonyms
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
but it will
also
Linking Words
decrease
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social interaction among
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
. The media has a big impact on how
people
Use synonyms
think about
crime
Use synonyms
, often exaggerating incidents through television and
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
, making
crime
Use synonyms
seems
Correct subject-verb agreement
seem
show examples
more prevalent than it actually is. Simultaneously, advancement in technology and connectivity means that
people
Use synonyms
have great access to news from around the world, which can include
crimes
Change the noun form
crime
show examples
reports that contribute to a heightened sense of fear.
For instance
Linking Words
, the lack of personal experience with
crime
Use synonyms
can lead to greater fear , as
people
Use synonyms
often fear the unknown or what they do not understand. Prioritizing caution can help
individuals
Use synonyms
avoid potential harm or victimization. By being aware of their surroundings and taking necessary precautions,
people
Use synonyms
can reduce their risk of encountering criminal activity.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a
cautions
Replace the word
cautious
show examples
approach encourages
individuals
Use synonyms
to be prepared for potential threats.
This
Linking Words
can involve developing emergency plans , learning
self defense
Add a hyphen
self-defense
show examples
techniques, and staying informed about local
crimes
Change the noun form
crime
show examples
trends.
However
Linking Words
, social interaction and public spaces can lead to feelings of loneliness and disconnection from society.
Hence
Linking Words
, there are some demerits too but undoubtedly the merits are more.
For example
Linking Words
, in some
Use synonyms
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
being overly
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
show examples
helps
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
to deal with the
situation
Use synonyms
immediately but it
also
Linking Words
,
limit
Correct subject-verb agreement
limits
show examples
their social
get- together
Correct your spelling
get-together
show examples
. In conclusion, the media plays a vital role in public perception of
crime
Use synonyms
, by exercising caution and awareness
individuals
Use synonyms
can protect themselves from isolating
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
from society and they can ensure personal safety and be ready for
danger
Replace the word
dangerous
show examples
Use synonyms
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
.
Submitted by sanjanasharma1905 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help in illustrating your arguments better.
task achievement
Work on clarity by organizing your ideas more clearly within paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each argument is fully developed and logically leads from one to the next for better coherence.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents the topic and the conclusion summarizes your points well.
task achievement
You've identified media influence as a major factor, which is a relevant and insightful point.
logical structure
Your essay displays a good logical structure with distinct points in the body paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fear of crime
  • public perception
  • media influence
  • exaggerated incidents
  • technology and connectivity
  • heightened sense of fear
  • lack of personal experience
  • social pressure
  • communal stories
  • preventative measures
  • diminished quality of life
  • limited social interactions
  • being cautious
  • opportunities and experiences
  • personal growth
  • exercise caution
  • genuine threats
  • safety and security
  • shared anxiety
  • heightened fear
What to do next:
Look at other essays: