The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The chart illustrates data about how many participants attended
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
different activities at a special social centre in Melbourne, Australia over a twenty-year period between 2000 and 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, among all of the activities, the film club had far more
attenders
Correct your spelling
attendees
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
the
number
Use synonyms
of table tennis players increased during the mentioned years, the figure for the amateur dramatics participants fell steeply. If we look at the details, regarding the film club, the figure was always within
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
range, showing no significant down or upturn.
However
Linking Words
, it had a slight increase to under 70 by 2020. Seemingly, the martial arts
experinced
Correct your spelling
experienced
experience
the same path but with a lower
number
Use synonyms
of participants which was always
aroud
Correct your spelling
around
35. With respect to the table tennis players, the trend started with a moderate increase to 20 and remained stable till 2010.
Then
Linking Words
,
suprisingly
Correct your spelling
surprisingly
, the
number
Use synonyms
rocketed to approximately 55 by 2020. Nobody
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
interested in joining the musical performances till 2005. After that, the statistic surged to above 10 by 2010.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the figure continued its upward trend but in a more moderate way.
Finally
Linking Words
, it reached 15
at the end
Linking Words
of the period. With respect to the amateur
deramatics
Correct your spelling
dramatics
attenders
Correct your spelling
attendees
show examples
, the
number
Use synonyms
was stable
under
Change preposition
at under
show examples
30 in the first five years.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, it started its huge downturn and plummeted to 5 by 2020
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "moderate" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • participants
  • social centre
  • comparison
  • trends
  • consistently popular
  • gained popularity
  • lost popularity
  • community interest
  • availability of facilities
  • social factors
  • economic factors
  • external events
  • economic downturns
  • health crises
  • demographic changes
  • aging population
  • marketing
  • community outreach programs
  • participation rates
  • Melbourne
What to do next:
Look at other essays: