Some people believe that unpaid community service should be c compulsory part of high school programme(for example working for charity ,improving the neighbourhood, teaching sports to younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #c #part #school #programme #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children

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It is often argued by some that some individuals believe that free population services should be

necessary

Add an article

a necessary

show examples

part of

high

Correct article usage

the high

show examples

education place programme.

Although

Linking Words

some might disagree with the notion;

however

Linking Words

, I completely agree. Not only because of making the

children

Use synonyms

a sensible person

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

because of the importance of these services in

Use synonyms

kids

Change noun form

kids'

kid's

show examples

lives.

This

Linking Words

essay will enunciate how these factors justify my opinion.

Firstly

Linking Words

, making the

students

Use synonyms

a sensible person is the responsibility of

school

Add an article

the school

show examples

.As

from

Change preposition

for

show examples

community quality,

students

Use synonyms

can learn a lot about basic manners .

For example

Linking Words

, in Kuwait schools,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

seminars are held every year

for collecting

Change preposition

to collect

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

funds and they teach

students

Use synonyms

that funding is really essential for helping

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

poor people.

Thus

Linking Words

, seminars should be held in every education

places

Fix the agreement mistake

place

show examples

to teach the

students

Use synonyms

about

Correct article usage

the

show examples

importance of charity.

Secondly

Linking Words

making

Change the verb form

to make

show examples

the

kids

Use synonyms

a good human,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

service

Fix the agreement mistake

services

show examples

such

Linking Words

as coaching

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

are

also

Linking Words

vital in

Use synonyms

kids

Change noun form

kids'

kid's

show examples

lives.As it is really brilliant for health and it

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

the

children

Use synonyms

active.

For instance

Linking Words

, almost

Change preposition

apply

show examples

every year in each school

Change preposition

show examples

the world, there

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

day in which different sports were played by the

students

Use synonyms

and coached by the teachers.

Hence

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

free service is really beneficial for the

children

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, the above evidence made it clear that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the funding services make the

children

Use synonyms

a good person

as well as

Linking Words

the sport service is really brilliant for

kids

Use synonyms

activity and for health, it should be provided by schools and should be unpaid for the

students

Use synonyms

Submitted by nidarif855 on Wed Jan 15 2025

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task response

To improve task response, try to provide more concrete evidence and examples to support your arguments. This will make your points more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

Work on the logical structure of your essay by clearly outlining your arguments in a systematic manner. Transition between ideas could be smoother.

coherence cohesion

Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main point and that this point supports your overall argument.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction clearly outlines your point of view, setting a strong tone for the essay.

introduction conclusion present

You have a clear conclusion that summarizes your main arguments effectively.

relevant specific examples

You provided specific examples, such as the seminars in Kuwait schools and sports day activities, to support your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

253 words

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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be c compulsory part of high school programme(for example working for charity ,improving the neighbourhood, teaching sports to younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some infomation is too important or too valueable to be shared freely.

Traditional schooling is out of date, boring and stifles a child’s natural talents, various professionals have pushed for an education revolution. Are there alternatives in the education system? Is traditional education doing more harm than good?

It is impossible to help all the people in the world who are in need, so governments should focus on people from their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people think cheaper air travel should be encouraged because it gives ordinary people to travel further. However, others think this leads to environmental problems, so air travel should be more expansive in order to discourage people to have it. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.