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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#companies #countries
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In developing
countries
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, multinational
companies
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 are growing rapidly and becoming more common.
This
Linking Words
 can improve the economies of
countries
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 through taxes and generate
the
Correct article usage
apply
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new job opportunities for the citizens,
while
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 it probably will hinder the growth of smaller
companies
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 and sell private
data
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 of their people. On the one hand, the monopoly caused by
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 large
companies
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 might impede the development of their smaller competitors, as they tend to control the whole market.
This
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 is because multinational
organizations
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 usually have substantial power that gives them the opportunity to leverage
national
Correct article usage
the national
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 market.
As a result
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, the local
comparetively
Correct your spelling
comparatively
 weaker
companies
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 can not temper
this
Linking Words
 competition and eventually go bankrupt.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, multinational
organizations
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 gather
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
data
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 from local citizens and sell them to other governments, as
such
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 personal
data
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 may cost billions of dollars and give
strategical
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strategic
show examples
 insights
for
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to
show examples
 other
countries
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. With
the
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apply
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users from more than 150
countries
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, Facebook,
for instance
Linking Words
, conceded that they were compelled to provide the private information of their users
for
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to
show examples
 the US
government
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.
On the other hand
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,
such
Linking Words
 big
companies
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 may bring enormous profit for the local country since they pay the bills to the
government
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 for operating
in
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on
show examples
 their land. Indeed, multinational
organizations
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' flow of
the
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apply
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cash is extremely large, and,
accordingly
Linking Words
, they must pay as
enormous
Correct word choice
much
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 money
for
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to
show examples
 the
government
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 as taxes.
Additionally
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, these
companies
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 usually create their offices there
as well as
Linking Words
 job opportunities.
This
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 may help to lower the unemployment rate and enhance the general wealth of the population. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, Apple paid 12 million
of
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apply
show examples
US dollars as taxes
for
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to
show examples
 the Ireland
government
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 and built over
than
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apply
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10 workplaces there. In
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, multinational
organizations
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 can improve the economies of those
countries
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 and induce new job opportunities,
while
Linking Words
 they may have drawbacks, like excess monopoly and sale of private
data
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Magzhan on

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organization
To enhance clarity and focus, try organizing your ideas into clearer separate paragraphs for the advantages and disadvantages, with topic sentences that clearly state each point.
examples
While providing examples, ensure they directly relate to the point being discussed. Consider using more varied examples beyond technology firms for broader relevance.
cohesion
To maintain coherence, make sure each point flows naturally to the next. You might use linking words and phrases to improve this flow.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the question by addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of multinational companies in developing countries.
introduction/conclusion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion, summarizing the main points concisely.
examples
The essay includes relevant examples, such as Facebook and Apple, which help illustrate the points discussed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Multinational corporations (MNCs)
  • Foreign direct investment (FDI)
  • Developing economies
  • Infrastructure development
  • Capacity building
  • Cultural diversity
  • Sustainability
  • Corporate social responsibility (CSR)
  • Technological transfer
  • Economic disparity
  • Market saturation
  • Brain drain
  • Indigenous industries
  • Expatriate management
  • Trade imbalance
What to do next:
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