Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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These days, there is a widespread argument on the topic of the basic importance
for
Change preposition
of
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governments must be the economic
progress
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.
While
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a number of people might suggest their view on various of
progress
Use synonyms
. I strongly agree that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
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should enhance its economic
progress
Use synonyms
.
However
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, I fully encourage
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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government
Use synonyms
should improve that for economic stability for its people and
ensuring
Wrong verb form
ensure
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the country’s
progress
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over other countries. In
this
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essay, I will explain more about the topic.
To begin
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with, the rights
for
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of
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each citizen toward their
government
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is stable
Wrong verb form
stabilise
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their economic situation by
provide
Change the verb form
providing
show examples
jobs to cover
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life expenses. Obviously,
the
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apply
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individual jobs are related
with
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to
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the economic
progress
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for
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of
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each
government
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.
According to
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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recent research by Sultan Qaboos University, 45% of the economically advanced
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government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
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have the happiest people in the world.
Nevertheless
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, I think
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ensuring the country’s
progress
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over other countries is the main reason for the
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government
Change noun form
government's
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insight about its
economic
Replace the word
economy
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.
According to
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an official statistic, almost 30% of
sustainable
Add an article
the sustainable
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millstone
Fix the agreement mistake
millstones
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of
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in
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highest
Correct article usage
the highest
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countries in the world consider their
progress
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of economic. In conclusion, I totally disagree
that
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with
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paying attention
for
Change preposition
to
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different kinds of
progress
Use synonyms
for a country. In fact, economic
progress
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is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
important goal for many governments.
Submitted by dream2cuwed on

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task achievement
Consider providing a more balanced discussion of both views, as the prompt asks for a discussion of both perspectives before giving your opinion.
task achievement
Clarify and expand on your arguments with more depth to enhance the clarity and comprehension of your ideas. Some parts of the essay were a bit vague.
task achievement
Improve the use of examples by ensuring they are directly relevant and support your main points. Try to integrate examples more effectively into your explanation.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and use transition words to help guide the reader through your logic more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Provide more substantial support for your main points with relevant statistics, examples, or theoretical references to make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame your arguments effectively.
task achievement
You attempted to provide statistics in your arguments, which is a good practice when supporting your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
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