People should choose their course of study not on the basis of their own interests, but based on the kinds of jobs they can get. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is suggested by some people that
students
Use synonyms
should not select their educational
subjects
Use synonyms
based on their interests, they should select
according to
Linking Words
in-demand employment. I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
statement. It is evident that if children select a subject
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
they are not interested
to study
Change preposition
in studying
show examples
. They may not focus on their studies.
Hence
Linking Words
, they may fail to pass the exams or might struggle to achieve
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
grades.
For example
Linking Words
, some children take admissions in classes which are demanded by society
such
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as the Doctor and Engineer.
However
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, only
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
achieves
Change the verb form
achieve
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success
due to
Linking Words
the interest they have. It may impact the
subjects
Use synonyms
in which they are performing best. In order to mitigate the challenges of hard
subjects
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they may
loose
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
focus on important
subjects
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, many
students
Use synonyms
are not good
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
mathematics. To perform well in one
Use synonyms
subjects
Fix the agreement mistake
subject
show examples
they might put all the affords into one.
Hence
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
negligence behaviours might impact their
overall
Linking Words
performance.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, people who believe that why
students
Use synonyms
should select their courses
according to
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jobs owing to the belief that when they
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
graduate. They can get a job
according to
Linking Words
the
Change the word
their
show examples
education and they will easily settle down
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their workplaces without being struggled to learn work duties.
However
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, I believe that graduates can select the educational colleges which is easy for them to study so that they can learn without any burden. Only professional jobs
requires
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require
show examples
education
in particular
Linking Words
subjects
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other jobs
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
not have any specific
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, they are
free-bird
Correct your spelling
free
show examples
, they can select cirumculms which are best for them. In
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, it is a debatable topic whether
students
Use synonyms
should study for vacancies or for their
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
. I
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
they could choose what they think is best
instead
Linking Words
of being
fored
Correct your spelling
favoured
by society. It will help them to stay away from stress.
Submitted by kb781920 on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical progression of ideas between paragraphs to build a more cohesive argument.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen the points made, linking them directly to your main argument.
task achievement
Ensure ideas are fully developed and clearly presented with examples or explanations to solidify the argument being made.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which nicely frame the argument and provide closure to the discussion.
task achievement
You expressed a distinct stance on the topic and maintained this position consistently throughout your response.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is organized, with each paragraph addressing a separate point related to your viewpoint.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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